rich & sad ↣ joshler ✓

37. Civil

Josh shakily shoved his key into the lock on his door. Dried tears were sticking to his face. He did not want to be at home right then but Hayley had sort of forced him to go home.

Basically, he had a breakdown in his office and Hayley walked in and saw it and told him to go home early.

How could he not have one? He had just heard from Tyler for the first time in weeks and was told he had until tomorrow night to make a decision on if he wanted to see him again.

It was like he was completely split in two and he didn't know which side to go with. His brain and his heart were fighting to the death for this final decision and he couldn't take it.

He got his door open and walked in, letting out a breath and shutting it behind him. It was too quiet in his house. Too lonely.

He leaned against it and grabbed his phone out, clicking on a contact he knew all too well.

It rang a few times before the person picked up. "Hey, J. How're you doin'?"

"Jenna," he breathed out, feeling his throat tighten. He couldn't cry. Not again. "Not good. Hayley sent me home because I had a meltdown."

"I'm so sorry," she said sincerely.

"C-can you come over? Please? I need you."

It was silent for a moment. "Jake's at work and I won't be able to get the babysitter this last minute..."

"Bring the kids. I don't care. I just can't be alone right now and I don't think I'm stable enough to get back into a car right now."

"Okay. Give us fifteen minutes. We'll be there soon. We love you."

"I love you guys too."

Josh let her hang up and as soon as the call ended, he slid down his door so he was sitting and brought his knees up to his chest. He buried his head in his hands and started sobbing again.

What did he do to deserve this?

He wallowed in his misery for a few more minutes before pulling himself up and wiping his face. He made his way to his bedroom and changed out of his suit and into a shirt and sweats. 

Shortly after he changed and he went and laid on his couch, turned into his side so he was staring blankly at the TV that was turned off.

Josh didn't know how much longer he laid there before Jenna came but he felt his body relax when his door opened. He had given Jenna a key when he first moved in and she rarely used it. He was grateful she used it then because he honestly didn't plan on getting up to let them in.

"Uncle Josh!" Hallie said excitedly, running over to him.

"Hallie, baby, Uncle Josh is sad. Don't stress him out even more."

"No it's okay," Josh couldn't help but smile when the three year old crawled up and laid against his chest. "How are you, angel?"

She turned so she was looking a him. "I'm okay. I'm sad you're sad though. Why are you sad?" She asked innocently.

"He got his heart broken, sweetheart," Jenna explained, picking Josh's legs up so she could sit before setting them back down on her lap. She had Emerson in her arms but she set him down next to her on the couch and behind Josh's waist.

He babbled to himself and shoved his teething ring in his mouth. Jenna pulled a blanket out of her diaper bag and set it on Josh's clothes so Emerson didn't drool all over him.

"By who?"

"Do you remember Tyler?" Josh asked sadly.

Hallie perked up. "Tyler? I loved Tyler!"

Josh's lip wobbled. "Me too."

"Hallie, take my phone," Jenna handed her the mentioned object. "Go sit on Josh's bed and play on it."

"Got it, Mommy!" She crawled off the couch. Before she was about to walk off she turned and pressed a kiss to Josh's forehead. "I hope you feel less sad, Josh."

"Me too, angel," he replied.

Josh and Jenna watched her walk off and shut the door before Jenna turned to him. "So you had a meltdown at work?" She asked softly, rubbing the small tuft of hair on Emerson's head.

"Yeah," Josh sniffled.

He then went into explaining the whole situation to her. He grabbed the letter out of his bag and read it to her. "I uh, I left the flowers at work. In a vase on my desk. The sweatshirt's in my car."

Jenna made grabby hands at the letter and Josh passed it over. She skimmed it again and when she was done she looked at Josh sadly. "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I have no idea what to do," he paused. "What do you think I should do?"

Jenna sighed. "As much as I hate the asshole," she began. "It hurts me to see you like this. To see you so defeated. You've never ever let downfalls destroy you. I think of you get answers from him you'll be happier. Not 100, because he cheated on you, but you might be able to move on if you get closure."

Josh thought about it. If Jenna was saying he should do it, maybe he should do it.

"It doesn't mean you have to give him a second chance or get back together with him or anything," she quickly added. "You might benefit from getting to hear him out. Or even just end things on civil terms. That can help too."

"I'm supposed to be civil with him after he stomped on my heart and made me things I contracted an STD from him?" Josh raised an eyebrow. "I didn't but that's not the point."

"No you're not supposed to be but I know you will be because you're Josh and that's how you are," Jenna told him with a small smile on her face. "You don't have to forgive him but please don't commit homicide or anything."

Josh couldn't help but smile at that. "I'll think on it. Thanks, Jen. I love you."

"Of course, Josh. I love you too."