Meet me on the bridge

Chapter 8

I heard a long sigh, he rubbed his thumb in circles driving and staring at the road as his voice was soft. He spoke to me a little slow.

"Chris... Of course, I love you, " he let out another sigh and looked where he was driving then spoke again, "if I didn't love you I wouldn't make love to you. Or if you want to say sex, then I wouldn't have sex with you. And before you say 'what about those girls you fucked' they weren't you Chris, I didn't make love to them. You are different, so different. Last night for me was more than anything I have ever had before... It was different for me it had feelings I had feelings during it... I'm telling you the truth I am done hiding things. Now tell me... What was last night for you? What is the truth through all this time of being friends."

I was silent listening to him. He spilled his heart out for me saying I was different. I guess I was just nervous. Scared. When he stopped talking I guess it was my turn. For the truth and apparently, he wants all of the truth.

I take a deep breath, "I've loved you for a while, and watching you with all the girls all over you made me feel... Like I would never get that chance. I don't know what I am doing, I didn't know what I was doing last night when we..." I sighed, "it felt good, and sometimes I am scared that you won't love me how I love you... I never dated anyone before it was only you, still only you. You are so experienced and I am a broken boy who doesn't know anything but the fact that everyone wants me dead even I want me dead.."

I think I am ranting and going to a different direction that he asked for but that is where I am going. "I can't do this anymore... I don't know what to say sometimes or do... Last night was scary, exciting but really scary for me..." I mutter softly and feel his hand squeeze my thigh.

"Chris... I am sorry, that you felt like that, or even feel like that." he said patting my thigh and grabbed the wheel with his hands and turned, "Let's eat then we can go back to my house and cuddle."

He parked the car, as he got out he walked around the car to help me out. Once I got out I looked up at him and he kissed him deeply. I got scared and pulled away looking around because I don't know what I would do if he got hurt.
———
I sat in my room alone, Peter had to go on a family vacation and was texting me. I bit my lip smiling softly when my phone would go off with his name.

Peter: Hey baby, this is so boring I want you here with me.
Chris: Have fun please.. I don't want you to focus on me and then not have fun with your family.
Peter: It would be better with you here. But fine. I love you, baby to be safe. Please text me soon.

I put my phone down on my desk getting up walking to the door. I heard a soft knock once I got to it. I open it and it was my mother. She scanned me seeing cuts and bruises all over. She sighed, like she cared but it's an act to act like a loving mother.

"Dinner is ready, and you look hungry. Your father isn't home yet." She said softly.

She always had gifts from my father even when drunk he was so in love with her. But me, drunk or not he wanted me dead. And I could tell by her eyes, she wanted the same thing.

"I am not hungry." I said closing my door and grabbed my phone crawling in my bed.
———
I woke up to a shadow over me, hands around my throat. My breathing... oh god I can't breathe.. what is going on? I start coughing and chocking.

"I heard you didn't eat you little fucker." A growl. God not him. Please not this.

I cough louder scratching his hands. When that wasn't working I scan my bed with my hands and hit speed dial. Peter.

"Hello?" It was on speaker. But my father was too drunk to notice.

I cough so loudly and go back to kicking and scratching. "He...help..." I cough out.

"Oh shit! Chris!" He stayed on the phone, and all I can think is, not again. He is going to try and kill me again. And I hear a conversation of Peter and his parents. "Mom, Dad!!! Chris is in trouble!" His mom was panicking I guess I was on speaker now too.

I need this to end. I need help. I black out, and something is weird. I can hear everything not like last time. I can hear every word my father said when I stopped moving. Screaming from the phone and panicking.

And now, I hear my mother. I have never heard this side of her. This doesn't feel real anymore. Is this a dream? I want this to be a dream. But at this moment... I want to just give up and die. "Is it finally done? Is he finally dead? Little bastard ruining our lives. We are finally free. He wouldn't eat the stupid food that would have just killed him in his sleep he asked for this."

I woke up shooting up sweating shaking. It was a dream... no that was a nightmare. I looked at my phone that had some messages from Peter. I take my phone reading the texts.

Peter: hey baby, if you are up text back I miss you. 1:00pm
Peter: movie night tonight? Your room I'll be quiet. 1:30pm
Peter: Chris baby? 2:15pm
Peter: Image 2:30pm

I check the time before clicking the photo. It was 2:32pm. My eyes kind of widen, I can't believe I slept for a whole day.. without getting beat up. But I sighed softly loving how he kept texting. I press my thumb on the photo to see his face making a kissy face with a caption saying, 'text me back!! I miss you!' I chuckled softly and started typing.

Chris: Peter. I am sorry I was asleep. Are you up?

Why am I asking that? I know for a fact he is up he was just texting. I sigh at how stupid I can be and see the chat bubble to indicate he was typing.

Peter: FINALLY!! Movie? Your room? Please! I'll sneak it and be quiet I want to be with you!

I bite my lip and look out my window seeing my parents were gone. I take my phone with me and walk out of my room seeing a note on a the railing that I was pushed over. I walk to the note reading it, 'your mother and I went out for the week to get away from your fucking face. If I find out you left the house you will be sorry.' -Jason. I groan seeing he even signed his name.

I take my phone out calling Peter. It rang 3 times and he picked up, a huff of his voice. "He-Hello?" He asked huffing like he was running.

"You can come over babe, my parents apparently left for the... week... are you okay?" I asked softly.

He huffed again, "Yes baby on my way we got a new puppy and he WON'T GIVE ME MY SHOE!! DROP IT!" He said huffing more.

Thank god. I chuckled softly, "Can you bring the puppy? I've always wanted to pet a dog." I said softly and he agreed. Hanging up I walk around the empty house.

I wish it was always like this, no screaming, no blood on the floors.. and no parents. I get drinks ready for Peter and I to share. Then something happened...

I stand there, frozen staring at nothing. I remember unlocking the front door, I hear a jingle and paws running and hear Peter. But I am frozen, my thoughts...

You were alone. You could finally do it. Slit your wrist until you stop feeling, until your heart stops beating. Or fall off the railing with glass in your hands make it look like an accident. Stand in the road and wait for cars. So many ways and now you blew it because you invited someone who doesn't even love you.

I gulp listening to each thought, the next just getting worse. I then feel arms around my waist, a chin on my shoulder. A voice, that I love...

"Chris..? You've been standing there for a while baby." He said calmly. But the voices are too much.

We have a plan. To end it all. And you will do it.

I snap myself out of my thoughts and turn to Peter, "Are you thirty?"