Expectations

Chapter 41

Pacing back and forth in my dressing room, I anxiously tug at my suit jacket, the nerves setting in. Tonight is one of the biggest award shows in music, and I'm somehow nominated for artist of the year. While I'm not expecting a win, my adrenaline is still running high with being nominated and getting to be in the same room as some of the best entertainers in the world.

"Well, don't you look handsome," a soft, familiar voice speaks up from the doorway, anchoring me. That is until I look over at her.

My jaw goes slack and my eyes widen. She's standing in the doorway in a long, body hugging red dress with the necklace I got her for Christmas around her neck. Her makeup is minimal and her naturally straight hair is cascading down her back. She is the epitome of beauty.

"You look beautiful," I breathe out causing a small blush to blossom across her cheeks.

"Thank you," Joslyn says, walking over to come straighten out my suit jacket. "Nervous?"

The nerves suddenly start to creep back in, and I nod causing a frown to form on her perfectly made up face. Shay really outdid herself, bringing out Joslyn's natural beauty with minimal makeup.

"Hey," she soothes, grabbing my face in her hands. "Win or lose you're still a rock star. Awards don't define you, and this is only your first nomination. Some people work their whole lives and never even get nominated, so you're already a winner. Just know that hardly anyone wins their first time, and that's ok. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you are so much more than any old award. Just go out there and have fun tonight... Because you're totally going to win." She grins confidently, causing me to smile.

"Thanks, Joss."

"No problem." She brushes her thumbs over the apples of my cheeks before dropping her hands down to rest on my chest. "Ready to go?"

I nod, taking her hand in mine, and before we make it out the door her phone rings.

"Hello?" she answers, and there's a faint, rushed voice on the other side of the line. "Zack, slow down... She's in labor?... Now?... It's a week early... Oh my God, ok I'll be right th—" She stops mid-sentence, face falling and her eyes flick up to meet mine. "Zack, I-I can't make it," she says sadly. "Alex's big award show is tonight and I'm already half way across the country."

My heart sinks and I suddenly feel heavy, conflicted. More than anything, I selfishly want her here with me tonight, to be there to hold my hand and be my anchor, win or lose. This isn't how tonight is supposed to go, but I know I can't keep her from her family. Zack has been in her life for forever, and he's practically her brother. I know how happy and excited she is for his baby to be born, and I can't keep her from seeing her niece come into this world.

"Joss," I say to gain her attention. "Go," I mouth, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"What?" She furrows her brow, taking her phone away from her ear to rest it on her shoulder.

"Go."

"Zack, I'm going to have to call you back," she says before hanging up her phone. "Alex, what are you talking about?"

"Go be with your family."

"But, it's your big night. We've been looking forward to this for months."

"Joss, there's going to be a million more award shows. The birth of that little girl is only going to be a once in a lifetime thing, and I'm not going to let you miss that. As much as I want you here, I can't be selfish and let you miss that and regret it."

She looks up at me through her lashes with her big hazel eyes. "But I promised I'd be here for you. Plus, who knows if I'll even make it there in time anyway."

"You never know unless you try."

She bites her lip, contemplating what to do. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. Go," I softly urge her.

Her eyes soften and her face mimics one of admiration. "Thank you," she whispers before standing on her tippy toes to place a kiss at the corner of my mouth. Her lips linger on my skin for a few seconds, making my body hot and my spine tingle. "Go kill it tonight, rock star."

Watching her walk out the door my body feels hollow yet heavy all at the same time. I feel like a part of my confidence is dwindling, and I suddenly feel like a chunk of me is missing, but I know I have to let her go. As the old saying goes; if you love someone, let them go.

I know I'm being dramatic, only letting her go for one night, but this is a big night for me and I've been picturing her by my side for this moment for months now. She's been a big part of my life and my success for the past few months, and she's the only one I want to share this experience with.

Letting out a sigh, I straighten up and try to shake off the nerves as best as I can. Walking the red carpet is a daze and I have no clue how I got to my seat inside the venue.

The whole show I'm on edge, the artist of the year category being the last announced. When the nominees are called I hold my breath and grip the armrest next to me wishing it was Joslyn's hand.

"And the winner for artist of the year is..."

-

When the after party is over I practically run back to my hotel room, flopping down on the bed and pulling out my phone. Despite it being so late, I still find myself facetimeing a familiar number. After four rings she finally picks up.

"Hey, Mr. Artist of the Year!" Joslyn whisper yells, face beaming. "I knew you could do it!"

"Thank you." I can't help the boyish grin on my face, and I find myself excitedly whispering back. "Why are we whispering?"

She bites at her bottom lip to stop her smile from growing. "Alex, meet Hallie Grace." She pans her phone down to the adorable baby resting peacefully in her arms.

"Hi, Hallie," I softly coo, feeling my heart melt. "She's beautiful."

Joslyn pans the phone back up so I can see her face. "I know. She already has everyone wrapped around her little finger."

"Did you make it in time?"

"Yeah, right on time. Like, five minutes before she came into this world." She smiles letting out a little laugh. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me."

"I do." She purses her lips. "I'm sorry for missing your big night. I wish I could've been there with you too."

I shake my head. "Don't you dare be sorry. Like I said, there will be plenty more award shows."

"You're going to invite me to another one?" she teases.

"Wouldn't invite anyone else."

She smiles and I notice just how tired she looks. She's been going nonstop with me all day to get ready, and then she had to rush back to Tennessee last minute. I can only imagine how exhausted she is given the late hour.

Her hair is now thrown up in a messy bun, eyeliner a bit smudged under her tired eyes, and if I'm not mistaken she's wearing one of my hoodies. Even now, she is the definition of beautiful.

With tired eyes she looks down at the baby in her arms with complete adoration and the sight alone makes me realize how much I love this girl.

Like a reflex, the words tumble out of my mouth with ease, like I've been saying them for years. "I love you, Joss."

Her tired eyes flick up to meet mine, except they're not so tired anymore.

After a few minutes they soften, and she gives me a heartwarming smile. "I love you, too," she whispers, and something in her tone tells me she means it. That she knows I meant it, and she feels the same way.