Expectations

Chapter 43

"Are you ok?" I ask Alex for at least the third time today, right before he has to take the stage. I take his face in my hands to thoroughly inspect him, using my thumbs to caress the dark circles under his eyes that are now masked by makeup thanks to Shay.

I can tell this leg of the tour is taking a toll on him with days off hardly existent. I can see exhaustion slowly taking over him—though he'll never admit it, not wanting to disappoint anyone. Especially Chris.

"I'm fine, Joss." He gives me a weak, tired smile. He can't even fake a smile anymore, and his voice is starting to get rough, strained.

I let out a disheartened sigh, wishing he would just admit defeat.

"I'm cancelling your workout and interviews for tomorrow. You need rest," I announce, already reaching for my phone to make some arrangements. I don't care how mad Chris may get, I can't have Alex getting any worse to the point where he can't do shows anymore.

"No," Alex says quickly, grabbing my hands and placing them back on his face. He turns his head and presses a feather light kiss to one of my wrists, and for just a moment I see a bit of life light back up in his eyes. "I'm ok. I promise."

"Alex," I warn wearily. "Don't lie to me. It's written all over your face that you're exhausted."

He lets out a sigh, closing his eyes and dropping his head. For a moment, just a moment, I really think he's going to surrender.

"I'll let you cancel the workout, but not the interviews or anything else. I can't let other people down."

"You will not be letting anyone down. Alex—" I'm cut off by the lights in the arena dimming, causing high pitch screams to flood throughout the area.

He pulls me in for a quick, tight hug and kisses the side of my head before running up the steps to the stage.

With a huff, I walk out to the soundboard to watch the show, only managing to keep my cool for thirty minutes. After the fifth time Alex's voice breaks, I can't stand it any longer. He's just barely carrying a tune, and notes I know he can hit in his sleep look like a struggle for him.

Gritting my teeth, I march backstage down numerous halls to find Chris, eventually finding him in an empty room shuffling through some papers.

"Chris," I say, walking into the room. He looks up at me, shock evident on his face. "He needs to slow down. He's killing himself out there."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Alex. Do you not hear him out there? Have you not seen him? He's exhausted, and it looks like he's about to collapse any second. I'm canceling his interviews for the rest of the week."

"Excuse me?" Chris says, eyes narrowed.  "Alex is fine. Until I hear it from his mouth that he's not ok, you are not to change anything."

"But that's the thing! Alex won't say anything because he doesn't want to let anyone down. He—"