Empty {sequel to Broken}

Chapter 20: listen

Okay, this is a big chapter. Im sorry I didn't update yesterday, I'll try to update twice today but no promises.

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Niall's p.o.v.

"What did you want to see me about Niall?" Dr. Martins asked once I'd sat down in his office.

"I want to get better," I said, biting my lip.

"You know it doesn't always work that way," he sighed.

"You have to help me try," I practically begged.

He studied me for a second. Then he looked down at his desk and clasped his hands together.

"Okay," he agreed.

"So what do I have to do?" I asked..

"You have to reverse your mindset back to the way it was before. So, how about we do what we've been doing. Think of a very happy memory from before the accident," he instructed.

"Okay, um, the boys and I were making a video diary while on tour," I said, smiling at the thought of it.

"Okay picture a specific moment, and tell me about it," he instructed.

"We were talking about our favorite dance move, and Harry said sliding. Then Louis leans his head back on Harrys legs, cause he was sitting under front of him, and said 'sliding is cool'," I told him.

"Why did you pick that moment?" he asked.

"Well, I was laughing, so I just felt really happy, and I remember, Harry looking down at Louis, who was looking up at him, and thinking, they are so in love," I sighed at the memory.

"And what was your reaction to that?" he prodded.

"It just, made me so happy, how happy they were with each other. They're love is honestly beautiful," I blushed, feeling stupid.

"That's amazing," he said, smiling at me.

"I just don't understand why something so horrible happened to those two," I sighed.

"I don't either Niall. Now, how about we listen to some music, you seem to love it," he said.

"Yeah sure, that might help I guess," I reasoned.

"Now, this might not be a song you like, but just listen to it anyways okay," he clarified.

"Yeah alright," I agreed.

"You're hand fits in mine like it's made just for me," Zayn's voice rang through the room.

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes tight. I can't do this I can't.

Yes Niall you can. Do it for Tess. No, do it for the boys.

Then I thought about the time Zayn picked me up, bridal style, on stage. I relaxed a little bit.

"I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile," Liam's voice sang next.

I drew in a sharp breath, then slowly let it out. Relaxing my fists a bit more. Remember the titanic moment you had with Liam?

"I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth," the chorus began, a mixed harmony of all out voices.

I can't ever be a part of that again. I won't be a part of that again. It's over.

But you can't give up. There are other things to live with, no matter how great One Direction was.

"You can't go to bed without a cup of tea," Louis' angel voice cut through me like a knife.

I haven't heard his voice in months. And I probably never will.

Come on Niall. Do it for Louis. I thought about the dance Louis and I always did to Over Again and all of our lyric changes.

"I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape," Harry's voice sang.

I thought about that interview for This Is Us where Harry and I just joked around the entire time. 'Pranks, laughs, oh,'

I actually smiled at that memory. A real smile. That's something that I haven't done much lately.

"But if i do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to," the chorus repeated.

This was always one of my favorite songs of ours. It has such a good meaning. Everyone is perfect in their own way.

"You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you,"

Oh. My. God.

"And you'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to,"

That's me singing.

"If I let you know that I'm here, for you,"

I'm here for who? For Louis? For the boys? For Tess?

"Maybe you'll love yourself like I, love you,"

I opened my eyes.

I can't believe I just did that. I listened to our music and we sounded good. I can't just leave that can I?

"Well?" he asked when the song was over.

"That's one of my favorites," I told him.

"And how do you think it sounded?" he questioned.

"Good. I don't think I've ever realized how much a song can make you feel something," I poured my heart out.

"And what do you feel?" he asked.

"Happy. Love," I answered simply.

"What about your solo?" he asked.

"It's true," I nodded. "So, what do I need to do to get better?" I asked, leaning forewords in my chair.

"Well Niall, I think," he paused.

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Predictions?