dear beomgyu,

39

dear beomgyu,

when daniel left for u.s. mid 2017, i got lonelier because i'll be away from another friend again.

i didn't know what happened but he said he'll make it up to you. before he left, he has been praising you and always talking about you.

he said he really envy our friendship and wish that he can find a friendship like ours.

it was like something life-changing has happened. i never heard daniel talking about you, neither praising you. all he did was just scoff everytime i talked about you. but that day, it was different.

i was sad because maybe it's too late for your friendship with each other. i really wanted the both of you to be friends and not hate on each other. but i guess it was late.

i also told him not to find something like our friendship. because our friendship was a total mess. it wasn't that ideal.

i thought, daniel leaving will be just fine and our friendship will still remain the same not until he decided to cut ties with me. it broke my heart because he was the only friend i had aside from you. there wasn't an exact and reasonable reason for him to cut ties with me.

i kept asking, do i really deserve to be left? do i really deserve to be hurt? it didn't make sense.

all he did was keep saying sorry to me... and also to you. he kept repeating and repeating it. i thought something was wrong.

"i'm sorry for everything i did. i hope you'll find happiness again. i am truly sorry. i know a sorry isn't enough. you can resent me. but i hope you can forgive me for everything. i'm hoping that you and beomgyu will find each other again, someday."

it was heartbreaking, beomgyu. both of you decided to leave me. both of you didn't even make the reason clear.

i was totally clueless. you made me feel so stupid.