dear beomgyu,

42

dear beomgyu,

i knew i won't be able to get away from anything related to korea. all of my classmates were into k-pop and even my closest classmate is so into korean pop.

"what's great with korean guys?" i always bitterly ask her. she just shrugs and say, "whatever" to me everytime i ask that.

she even introduced me to bts and a lot of k-pop groups. i know they are great. i like their music. but i just don't get a hang of it. maybe because they are korean.

"what's with you and your hatred towards korean guys? you are always so bitter at literally everything about korea."

it was't because i hate them. i'm just... bitter... about you.

my friend always talks about bts a lot so maybe i was able to cope with my bitterness towards korean guys. we became closer when i told her i decided to stan bts. she was very happy that she turned someone like me who is a k-pop anti into a bts stan.

i got used to k-pop. i knew a lot of groups but my ult group was bts. my friend made me love korean pop and made me vanish my bitterness towards korea.

i was able to accept the fact that not everything about korea is about you, beomgyu. you are just someone i used to know. you are just someone i used to be friends with. you are just a passerby in my life. and i shouldn't close my heart and mind just because of the pain you inflicted on me.

you are just someone, beomgyu.

i diverted my attention to fangirling. it was fun. i rarely think of the past. i rarely think of being alone. i made a lot of friends. i was happier than before. even my mom noticed it.

i thought i was getting better.