Sunshine (Take Two Sequel)

Chapter 11: Lilly

It had only been a week since Veronica gave birth to Robert, but we could already tell we weren't going to see her much outside of her house. She was always taking care of him, and John was right by her side, except when he had rehearsal with the boys. Meanwhile, I was still pretty depressed about losing my baby. I had the procedure to make sure I could still have kids, and I was told that I could, but I wasn't ready to try again yet. Roger was being so patient with me through this whole thing, which somehow made me feel worse. I know he wants to have kids, and I do too, but if we do it now it will just feel like we're replacing the one we lost.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a heavy sigh come from the doorway. It was Ella.

"Lilly you have to stop torturing yourself," Ella said. "This wasn't your fault!"

"I know," I said. "But it's still hard. I lost my first child with no warning. I was waiting for Veronica to give birth, happily thinking about how that would be me in six months and then suddenly, I'm bleeding all over the place."

"Well it's not all bad," Ella said. "At least you can still have kids. Some people can't."

"What people?" I asked her. Ella sighed and looked over at me.

"Remember when I had that pregnancy scare in college?" She asked me.

"Vividly," I said. "Because it was confusing. You were so worried you were pregnant and then you found out you weren't, and then for some reason, you and Gwilym were all upset. Did you want to have a baby?"

"Not then," Ella said. "But maybe someday. When I went to my doctor's appointment and found out I wasn't pregnant, I also found out... I can never get pregnant. I'm barren."

"Oh Ella," I said. "I'm so sorry." I gave her a hug and she sniffled a little.

"It's not a big deal," she said. "I've had a few years to process it. Honestly, I'm mostly just scared Gwilym will leave me because of it."

"Why would he do that?" I asked. "He already knows, doesn't he?"

"Yes," she said. "But I don't think it really ever hit him. He knows, but I don't think he realizes that if we stay together, he will not have children. One day I'll have to explain it to him."

"Ella," I said comfortingly. "He loves you. I don't think you have anything to worry about." She gave me a little half-smile. Our conversation was interrupted when my front door swung open.

"Jesus, you two too?" Winter said loudly, barrelling through my front door with Rory. "I just dragged this one out of bed to come here and now you two look depressed too! What is going on?"

"Do you need something, Winter?" I asked her, ignoring her question.

"Yes," she said. "I had a thought: since Lilly lost her baby and Rory decided to have an abortion for some reason, I thought maybe we should go on tour! There's nothing holding us back."

"My God, Winter," Ella snapped. "Could you be any less sympathetic?"

"Sorry," Winter said. "But I thought a tour would be a good way to put our problems in the past! What do you guys say?"

"I actually think that sounds fun," I said. "It'll give me time to heal and maybe when we get back I'll be ready to try for a baby again." Winter made a sarcastic gagging noise and I rolled my eyes. She's not a baby person.

"I'm in," Ella said. "Gwilym loves watching us play, I'm sure he'd love to come to one of our concerts with everyone else! Maybe Rami and Lucy will come see us too!" I smiled and nodded happily.

"Well good luck playing without a guitarist," Rory said. "I'm not coming!"

"What?" Winter said. "Why not?"

"I just don't want to," she said. "Besides, you don't need me. Literally, all four of us play guitar."

"Yeah, but we can't play two instruments at once," Ella said. "Besides your better at it than the rest of us."

"I don't think that's true," Rory said. "Lilly can play, you can play and sing at the same time."

"I also play piano for us," I said. "I can't play piano and guitar at the same time. I mean Ella also plays piano, but she's the only one who plays bass. What's going on? Why don't you want to come with us?" Rory sighed.

"I do want to," she said. "But I can't because of... medical reasons."

"What are you talking about?" Winter asked.

"I have to start chemo this week," Rory said. We all gasped.

"Rory," I said. "You have cancer?" Rory nodded.

"Leukemia," she said.

"Is that why you had to abort your baby?" Ella asked.

"Actually yes," Rory said. "I had to do it a few weeks ago because they wanted me to heal before I started chemo. The worst part is the type of leukemia I have forces me to stay in the hospital for a month during treatments so I won't be exposed to illness as easily. I can't even go outside!"

"Rory, I'm so sorry," I said softly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she said. "I just didn't want to make you worry about me. There is good news; it's highly treatable. They think I'm going to be fine after enough treatment!"

"Well, that is good news!" Ella said.

"Yeah, and we'll all be here for you," Winter said. "We'll visit you in the hospital all the time, and I think you should tell the rest of the group so they can too. Everyone will be supportive!" Rory smiled and nodded.

"You're right," she said. "I love all of you, you should all know the truth. Thank you so much for being so supportive."

"You've always been there for us," I said. Ella nodded in agreement and we all hugged. This was going to be tough, but we've been through hard times before. There's no reason this should be any different.