5. Let Yourself Go

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You turned away and walked up to the bartender to ask for another glass.

"Hey." You tried to get his attention as he was making someone else's drink. As it was a private party, there were some people you have not known or seen before, but it wasn't packed as much as in the main venue. The bartender turned around as quick as possible and appeared in front of you as fast as speed of light. You even took a step back, as you didn't expect it.

"Can I help you?" He asked grinning happily and you just couldn't stop yourself from returning it.

"Is there any way to stop my friend over there" You pointed at Magnus

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"Is there any way to stop my friend over there" You pointed at Magnus. "from refilling my glass, without my knowledge?" You asked and the bartender seemed to start thinking hard. Seconds later he took a glass off the shelves and with some purple smoke coming out of his hand, he has given the glass to you. "I'm assuming you are a warlock then." You stated the very obvious.

"Still in training, but indeed." He answered proudly. "And this way Magnus will not be able to use magic on your glass, so please let me know if you need a refill." He smirked and you let your lips curve into a smile too.

"Will do." You replied. However as you were about to walk away, he stopped you.

"May I ask your name? Of course only if I'm not stepping over any boundaries." His gentle tone made you think, but soon gave in.

"Y/N." You said and walked back to your friends. However you felt a very strange feeling and when you looked at Alec, he seemed to be very unhappy. You decided to join his company. You slowly walked up to him and took a seat next to him on the antique couch. He seemed to be taken aback for a second, but then quickly rearranged his emotions.

"Hello Handsome

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"Hello Handsome." You teased, but he just rolled his eyes. "You don't seem to be in a good mood today." You stated.

"I'm fine." He said briefly, not even looking your way.

"I didn't say you were not fine, I said you seemed moody." You corrected him. "What seems to be the problem, of the most handsome man I know?" You continued teasing him, but he didn't seem to care.

"Please, I don't have energy for this now." He said while leaning back into the couch.

"Fine, got you. So why are you in a bad mood today, then?" You asked putting aside your seemingly annoying behaviour.

"Nothing. Honestly." He replied sighing.

"Well, I'm not your parabatai and I'm not even your best friend, but I do know you enough to realise, something is not right. So if you want me to stop asking, then say that, but don't keep saying that you are fine, and there's nothing on your mind, when it clearly isn't true." You lectured him and he just rolled his eyes once more.

"So would you stop asking me if I told you that I didn't want to talk about my problem?" He asked genuinely and you gave it a thought.

"Nop-p." You popped the p and let out a chuckle. "But at least you tried." You grinned at him.

"Why did I even try?" He asked talking to himself, but you answered anyway.

"Because you still trust me. Oh, how many times did I tell you not to." You laughed it off.

"I clearly am not a quick learner." He said meanwhile a small smirk started appearing on the corner of his lips.

"Look, look..." You pointed at his face. "did I just see you almost smile?" You questioned, but he just rolled his eyes once again. It seemed to be one of his favourite habits.

"Very funny, Y/N. Very funny." You ignored his annoyed tone and grinned at him.

"My humour is my charm." You stated while chuckling, but his opposing cough made you think otherwise. "Hey, stop being evil." You pushed on his shoulder. "At least I have a sense of humour. You are always so grumpy, that I feel the need to kick your ass to make you realise that you should have some fun."

"Y/N." The way he called your name rolled off of his tongue so easily. You loved when he repeatedly said your name, whether out of anger or happiness. You always felt a slight ticklish feeling running through your body. "We are Shadowhunters. There is nothing fun about what we are doing. We have to take our job seriously." He continued. "If we just joke around and lose focus, we will make mistakes." You didn't know what to think. You were thinking of slapping him on the back of his head, but you decided to turn to words instead.

"Can you please look around?" You asked and he actually followed your request. "When we are out there fighting, I completely understand your view. However we have to release the stress at some point. You can't keep being serious all the time, because you will miss out on good things. You will miss out on life, Alec." You explained passionately. "Of course, we always have to be ready to fight. We could be attacked even in the least expected moment, but it doesn't mean you can't let yourself go a bit. That's why we are here." You placed your hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "When I let myself go and I tend to overstep the line quite often," You admitted. "I would expect you to make sure I'm getting back to the institute in one piece. Because I trust you. So if you need to release the stress and just turn yourself off even for an hour, we are here to help you. We are not only your team on the field. We are your team in life as well. We are friends for a reason." Your powerful words must have found their way to the eldest Lightwood as he gently smiled at your monologue.

"I will think about it." He said, but you knew he was genuine.

"That's enough for me." You smiled at him and felt like losing yourself in his shining blue eyes. You didn't want to turn away, you didn't want to think about anything. You just wanted to look him in the eyes and give all your attention to him. It seemed like eternity while you were looking in each other's eyes and you were surprised Alec didn't turn his head. Mostly when you tried to keep an eye contact with him, he turned away and found something to concentrate his attention on, or simply looked anywhere but at you. This time it was different. It's given you hope, that Magnus might have been right. That he might have really learned something through the years. You wished to be closer to Alec, but you knew how hard it was to get through to him and you were simply happy that he could finally just look at you.

Only you.

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