Love and Leather [Alec Lightwood x Reader] + gifs ✓

33. Awakening

You were awake, but weren't. You could hear faint noises, you could hear people talk around you, but still, you were unable to open your eyes. It was like you were closed in a cupboard, ready to leave, but being unable to open the doors. You could even recognise the voices. It was Alec's deep baritone that caught your attention, before you recognised your parabatai's delicate notes. You wanted to scream, you wanted to shout. You would have been happy with any noise that could have left your vocal cords, but nothing. You were there mentally, but you were also far. You felt like you were drifting away as the voices slowly died out.

Once you thought you gained consciousness again, you only heard faint nestling coming from next to you, but you were unable to open your eyes to see what it was. You wanted to hit something, you wanted to punch someone. You didn't ask for much, you just wanted to move. You felt like crying and there you were shredding tears, but were you really, or it all just happened in your head? You drifted into darkness again, trying to fight it off, strengthless.

Screams and shouts erupted around you, you wanted to take a pillow and throw it at them to shut them up, but they kept going. You knew you couldn't do anything about your surrounding. You silently groaned in annoyance, knowing that you were stuck in the darkness. 

"Y/N?!" You heard a squeak. Did they hear you? You didn't know. You wanted to think they did. You wanted to hope again that you didn't just battle with yourself inside. "Y/N, are you there?" You heard her again and you tried to answer, but to no avail.

"Y/N?" You heard that smooth, deep voice you loved so much. You wanted to scream at him that you were there, but nothing left your lungs other than your even breathing. You didn't know what to do anymore. You were angry at yourself for being useless. A feeling that made you feel weak. A feeling that you were not used to. You were fuming inside and you wanted nothing, but punch something or someone in the gut for making you feel so miserable. You groaned once again, this time more firmly out of frustration. "Y/N, wake up. Please wake up." You heard and now you were sure they could hear you. It could not have been a coincidence. 

You screamed at yourself to open your eyes, you screamed at yourself to move. You found anger to be the best medicine right in that moment. If nothing helped you so far than it had to be anger. You felt like you were crawling your way out of darkness, growling once again at the thought that you were still stuck. 

"Come on, Y/N. You can do it." You heard Izzy's voice and then...

"Hmm." You heard yours. Was that really your voice? You were sure it was. You had been living with that voice for as long as you could remember. You almost missed the light coming through your eye-lids. You couldn't believe it. You were there. Almost there. 

"You are stronger than that, Y/N. Wake up." You heard his angelic voice and you wanted to carve his face into your memories again. Your eyes slowly started flattering open, but you quickly closed them back. It was too hard to keep them open.

"That's it, keep going." Izzy squeezed your hand firmly. You made another attempt at opening your eyes, but this time they closed as the light burned your retina. You felt your parabatai leaving your side and soon darkness came again. You were scared. You got this far and now it was dark again. 

"Try again, Y/N." Alec caressed the side of your face. You wanted to lean into his palm to feel more of his warmth. You didn't understand how you could hear them again when the darkness came back for you. You attempted to open your eyes once again and finally you could see their form through your blurry vision.

"By the Angel, Y/N! You are back!" Izzy screamed enthusiastically and hugged you as gently as she could. As if you were a porcelain doll. It was quite an unfamiliar sensitivity from her side. 

You turned your head slightly to the other side to see Alec leaning towards you while still caressing your cheek. Your eyes started getting clearer and you could see dark patches under his eyes. He hasn't been sleeping well. 

"You should... sleep." You whispered as your vocal cords strained under dryness. He chuckled at your comment. 

"You really shouldn't be worried about me right now." He leaned closer and kissed your forehead in such a loving way. You couldn't remember him being ever so attentive. 

"Can I... water." You tried to speak again and Izzy immediately ran for a glass of water and helped you drink it with a straw. "On a side note... you guys look worse than me." You whispered as your voice disappointed you once again. They chuckled at your comment. 

"Not worse than you." Izzy smirked. You returned her happiness with a slight smile that was quite hard to even manage. 

"Sleep a bit more and when you wake up, you will feel better." Alec said, but you shook your head weakly.

"I don't want to." You sighed deeply.

"You will wake up, Y/N." As if he knew why you didn't want to give in against the darkness once again. "You need to rest. You will feel better after." You believed him. You closed your eyes and within seconds you fell asleep.