Cadela

two

» two

Rowan sits three tables away from mine.

I'd normally stare at him, and secretly hope he'd turn to catch me doing so, but never did.

He was so invested into his conversation with Gracie, a really great quirky girl who everybody gets along with, and I stare at her appearance and think: 'what does she have that I don't?'

Is it that I'm not tall enough?
Is it that my skin isn't light enough?
It is that I'm not curvy enough?

What is it, because I'm too blinded by pathetic-ness to get this boy to like me that I can't see it myself.

My friend, Mia, a girl I've known for as long as I can remember, she notices how sad I am while staring at Rowan and Gracie. I honestly had forgotten about Mia - I zoned out as if only Rowan, Gracie, and me were in the cafeteria alone with blackness surrounding us and a spotlight trained on those two.

"They're just friends, Melanie." I hear Mia's distant voice. I snap my focus onto her and my eyes wide as an owl's. "Huh?" My voice is barely audible, and I sound more pathetic than I look and think.

"They are just friends." she repeats, more loudly now.

"Are they?" My voice cracks just as I see Rowan stroking Gracie's braid and her giggling on his shoulder. "Because I don't think so."

Mia face palms herself, "You need to move on, you act like Rowan is the only boy in the world. He doesn't even see you as a friend for crying out loud!"

I put my head down, and sigh deeply. I stare at my exposed thighs since my dress hiked up a bit. I sigh once more, "You don't understand."

"Then help me understand." Mia's voice sounds closer as she heads over to sit beside me.

I pull my head up, and wrap my jacket tighter around my body. I once again, turn my head slowly to Rowan and Gracie's disappearing figures as they leave the cafeteria.

"You don't understand how much it hurts to have someone you can never have."

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