Hallowed (B. Barnes)

Chapter Twenty-Six

Bucky wakes in his shared bed to the early September sun beaming in through the bedroom window. He turns over seeking out Sydney, as he does every morning. But her side of the bed is empty. He frowns a little. She is never awake before him. He touches the bed sheets and finds them cold. She's been awake a while then. He sits up and stretches, his eyes instantly finding a photo stuck into the edge of Sydney's mirror. He smiles. It's a photo of the two of them together from during the summer. And it sounds cliché to Bucky. A summer of love. But that is the only way to explain the summer months with Sydney. They actually travel around Romania in a little beat up car. They ate food, saw the sights, and fell deeper into that black hole of love. But Bucky is happy. Truly and deeply happy. And being back at home kind of sucks when he's been travelling for so long. He misses it. He misses the simplicity of it. He pulls on his sweat pants before heading out of the bedroom and into the main room where Sydney is sat on the couch reading a paper. He watches her a second before he moves to the kitchen area and the coffee machine waiting for him.

"You're up early" he points out as he pours himself a mug of coffee, she hums a little, her eyes fixed on the newspaper in her hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" she answers softly, he moves towards her with his coffee.

"Animal attack?" he asks reading the paper page over her shoulder. "In the city centre?" he sits next to her.

"Yeah" she answers. "Weird" She mumbles, but he can see her mind working away. She sets down the paper and turns to him. "Good morning" she offers, he smiles at her.

"Good morning" he whispers back warmly.

"How was your first night back in our bed?"

"Better than yours it seems, did you sleep at all?" he asks her, she shrugs a little.

"A few hours..." She admits. "I didn't want to wake you so I came out here" he sets his coffee down and turns back to her.

"If something is keeping you awake, you should have woken me...." he scolds her a little.

"It's nothing you could have helped me with" She counters leaning into his side, his arm wrapping around her. "I was just restless...being away all summer I got used to sleeping somewhere different every night, being back in our own bed it....it feels a little...weird" he nods a little and rubs her back.

"I know" he agrees. "Just going to have to get used to it again" he kisses her head and takes a deep breath. "You know....Maybe next year..." He starts. "We can go...further?"

"You would want that?" she asks him, he nods.

"Yeah" she chuckles a little.

"Says the man that used to be afraid to leave the apartment, now you want to go travelling?"

"With you" he corrects. "Only with you...." she smiles warmly at him.

"Then it sounds like a plan" she offers and leans up to kiss him, he hums happily against her lips and pulls her closer till she is in his lap, she chuckles and wraps her arm around his neck.

"Maybe Paris" he whispers against her lips. "Romantic, beautiful, good food"

"Sold" she teases. He can't believe he is this lucky. After Hydra, how did he find a good woman? And why the hell does she love him? She tugs on his hair.

"Ow" he complains even though it didn't really hurt, he shoot her a look.

"As if I can't see when you are thinking mean things about yourself" she tells him, he gives her a sad smile. "None of it matters. This you, who you are now, that matters" He knows that she means that. That to her, none of his past matters. But it still matters to him. He can't and won't completely forget about it. About the hurt he caused other people. He knows that will never go away but with her...it lessens just enough to keep him sane.

.................

Alina and Mihaela laugh at something Sydney has just said but Bucky's too busy watching the three women with warmth. He loves moments like this. When they are all together, all light and happy and none of their pasts hinder them. He knows that none of these women were tortured and brainwashed by Hydra, but their pasts are all something terrible for them. They've been changed and scarred by the lives they've lived, and yet here they all are, happy and smiling. Bucky smiles because it shows it can be done. He knows it can even if some days he tries hard to be the man worthy of Sydney, some days he tries really hard. He reaches under the table and takes Sydney's hand in his, she smiles and looks at him, he winks at her. She squeezes his hand and goes back to her conversation with her friends.