Hallowed (B. Barnes)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

When Bucky returns with a box from his safety deposit box, he finds Sydney curled up on the floor where he left her, arms around herself as she cries. Utterly devastated. Bucky eyes sadden seeing her like that. Knowing that he did that to her by leaving. He should have explained first before just going. He knows this. But it was shocking. Still is a shock. He sets the box on the kitchen counter and then moves to her. Crouching at her side, he touches her shoulder and tries to get her to uncurl.

"Hey" he whispers, she lifts her head to look at him, her arms loosening around herself. "Breath," He tells her, his hands finding her face. "Breath for me, sweetheart" He begs, she does as he asks calming herself down. Her body relaxing, her breathing steadying, her tears stopping. She blinks a little and looks at him.

"I thought you left..." She admits, he shakes his head and then kisses her. Holding her closer to him. Showing her just what she means to him, even as a vampire, that doesn't change.

"I love you" He promises her against her lips. "I'm not going anywhere" he gives her a small smile. "I just...I needed to get some things" he kisses her forehead and then stands moving back to the box. "It's out in the open now, what you are...and..." he touches the box and closes his eyes. This is it. Sink or swim for them. "This is my....thing" He opens his eyes and looks at her as she appears at his side, they share a look.

"You don't have to tell me" She assures him, he nods.

"Yeah, I do..." He corrects. "It's time...no more secrets" he takes the lid from the box and lets out a breath. "I don't know everything myself" He admits as he pulls a folder from the box. Beneath that is his Winter Soldier uniform. Guns. Knives. Lots of things that remind him of that life. He sets the folder down and motions for Sydney to look. "My name is James Buchanan Barnes," He tells her as she opens the file. "And according to that", he points at the file. "I was born..."

"In 1917" She finishes as she reads that information. He nods. "I'm the vampire yet you are the really old one?" She asks as she looks at him, he shrugs a little. "Wait" she stops. "According to...you don't know?"

"I don't remember" He admits, she cocks her head a little. "I barely remember my name...." he continues. "And...up until a few years before I met you....my mind is...." he sighs. "It's flickers...and the things that I do remember...." He looks down. "The people that..." he takes a breath, struggling to get it out.

"These people?" she asks touching the symbol on the file. He nods.

"They...changed me," he tells her. "They...gave me my arm, they....took away my memories....turned me into an..." he clenches his jaw. "An assassin....and the things I did for them, the people I hurt....the people that I killed...." He whispers, his voice breaking with his guilt and disgust at himself. Sydney touches his arm and he pulls away from her. "No, please...." he tells her. "I can't....I'm a monster, Sydney" It breaks her heart to hear him mean that, that he truly thinks he is a monster, he is literally standing next to a vampire and he thinks he is the monster.

"Hey" she coos and pulls him closer to her, he closes his eyes. "Look at me" she begs, he shakes his head because he doesn't want to see the rejection and hatred in her eyes. But there is none there. "James" she scolds him, he opens his eyes and looks at her. "The world would call us monsters," she tells him. "But we're not" he frowns at her. "Monsters don't care about what they've done. They don't feel guilt. They don't feel love" he brushes his sleeve over his cheeks to remove his tears. "But we do" he nods a little. "I love you...and I know you love me" he nods again. "So how can we be monsters?" he leans closer and kisses her, his arm wrapping around her back to pull her closer to him.

"I do love you" he assures her. "More than anything...." she nods and hugs him, her arms tight around him, he closes his eyes and hugs her back. She is still here. She knows everything and she is still here with him. He knows that there is so much more to talk about. But he got it out, he managed to tell her. And she stayed. He presses his head to the side of hers and lets out a breath.