Chapter 40: You Wanted To Talk?

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   It had been three weeks since I started blowing Ariana off. It had taken a week and a half for her to realize that I was serious and didn't want to be involved with her anymore.

   Class was easy. At first, she would call on me often to try to get me to talk to her any way she could, but it wouldn't work. My answers were short but precise, giving her no room for the annoying 'care to elaborate' question english teachers often love to bring in. She finally gave up.

   She decided it was fine with her and quickly moved on to Justin. I wasn't surprised, honestly. She had already started moving on while we were still somewhat together. Seeing them together didn't make anything easier, but I continued to avoid them both as much as I could. I changed my route to my later classes after accidentally seeing them glued to each other in front of his room. Once was enough.

   Practice was tense, to say the least. I usually set up quickly, talking as little as I could while still properly communicating and being appropriate and respectful, not that she deserved my respect anymore. I would practice as much as I could with the other girls and even got into more hands on coaching, interacting with them to correct small things that were wrong. Since it was still preseason, I luckily didn't have to worry games until the next semester.

I had managed to push her away to the point where she understood that it wasn't me playing a game of hard to get. This was serious and it was what I wanted.

She probably thought I was pettily jealous and that I would get over it. As much as I hated to admit it, that was accurate to a certain degree. I was jealous. Why was he any better than me? Our school had a policy against teachers dating, so why was he worth the risk but I wasn't? They weren't even doing much to hide their relationship, like they were trying to rub it in my face. It was more than that, though. I was more than jealous. I was hurt. I had let her in and begun to care about her. She decided to repay my trust with betrayal. She stabbed me in the back, and seeing her with Justin did nothing but twist the knife.

Justin was another issue. I liked what we had, but he had moved on so quickly. I didn't have much room to talk there, but why did he have to move on to her of all people.

This felt like the universe's way of saying "fuck you." I guess, in a way, I kind of deserved it. I had overlapping "relationships" with them. You can't exactly control how you feel, but I still put myself into that situation.

Speaking of relationships, I had decided that it was finally time to come clean to my best friends about what was going on. A month was a bit late, but better late than never I guess.

I called them over to meet Trent and me at my place. My dad was gone for the day, so we would all four have the house to ourselves. I figured it was best that way. At least nobody would overhear what they were screaming at me about.

   Trent had come over early and was by my side as I anxiously stood by the door. "You're going to be fine. They're your best friends. They aren't going to hate you," he had told me.

   It sounded reasonable, and I wanted to believe him. I was just so scared that they would hate me from holding back from them for so long.

   My doorbell rang throughout the house, and I quickly jumped to answer the door.

   They eyed me suspiciously as they made their way inside.

   "You wanted to talk?" Camila got right to the point.

"Yeah, lets go up to my room."

We trotted up the stairs. Camila and Selena sat on the little seats that littered my room while Trent and I rested on my bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" Selena had been the one to ask.

"Okay so, promise you won't get mad."

"It's hard to promise when I don't know what you're about to tell me." Camila was testy, probably because I'd been blowing her off for quite some time.

I sighed, knowing she had every right. "Well, Trent and I..."

He grabbed my hand beside me and gave me a reassuring smile.

"We aren't really dating."

"What?" Camila sounded mad and confused.

"We're faking it. We don't want anybody to know."

"Why would you lie to us about that?"

"I didn't mean to lie to you. I didn't know how to bring it up. That's why I've been so distant. I was trying to think about how to tell you. I avoided you until I figured out how to do it right. Sorry that I pushed you guys away and wasn't honest with you."

"Why did you fake it," Selena asked.

Trent looked over at me.

"What are you hiding," Camila jumped in.

Damn my best friends for being able to read me so well.

"Honestly?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want the honest answer," Camila said.

"I... had a thing... with somebody."

"Why didn't you tell us?" They sounded hurt instead of mad.

"It was dangerous. It wasn't that I didn't trust you guys, it was never that. It was only that I was scared to put her into the position of others knowing. It was dangerous, for her."

"Her?" Selena asked.

"Oh, shit." I hadn't meant to give away that much to them.

Trent gently squeezed my hand out of comfort.

   This was going to be a rough night.

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