Damned if you do, damned if you don't ||8||

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It was another sleepless night for me.

I twisted and turned a million times, in order to find a position which will help me fall asleep, but nothing helped.

Giving up, I threw two cushions behind my back and sat, leaning against the hand rest of the couch.

The room was dimly lit. I looked at Karthik, who was sleeping on the bed with a frown on his face. It looked like, he was having a bad dream. If he was good to me, I would have helped him. But after what happened in the evening, even the thought of helping him didn't go well with me.

Sighing, I grabbed my laptop from the table, deciding to watch a few episodes of FRIENDS. Putting my headphones on, I started watching the first episode 'The one with the jellyfish', of season 4.

This series could never bore me! I had watched it a million times and could watch, a gazillion times more! Back in Mumbai, I remember how good of a time Amaya and I used to have watching it! It was our go-to series when we couldn't decide on what to watch next. We would spend the whole night binging FRIENDS and eating! I really miss those days.

I was at the end of the episode, when through my peripheral vision, I saw Karthik sitting, leaning against the headboard, with his legs folded and arms on top of his knees.

When did he wake up?

I removed the headphones and looked at him.

He looked troubled. His eyes were open, but it seemed like he wasn't looking anywhere. His breathing was rough. The sound of ebb and flow of his heavy breaths was audible in the silent room.

I placed my laptop aside and got up. I knew he didn't need my help, and I couldn't do anything to help him either, but seeing him like that, I just couldn't find it in myself to not go and talk to him.

Slowly walking towards him, I sat on the edge of the bed, in front of him. He seemed lost.

"Hey" I spoke softly.

His whole body jerked as if he had snapped out of some deep thoughts. His eyes were now on me. His condition indicated to something, I wasn't aware of.

"Are you-"

"I'm fine" He said in a dismissive tone, which had a 'don't talk to me' hidden in it.

His jaw was clenched, tight.

"Well, you don't seem fine but, okay" I chipped. I had no intention of making him feel like I was trying to act like his wife again.

Getting up from the bed I moved back to the couch and sat there. I wanted to know what was the matter with him, but I didn't want to come up as a melter, when he already seemed so hassled.

After some minutes of silence, he abruptly got down the bed, fetched something from the upper drawer of the chest placed beside, and walked out of the room. It was all too fast that before I could figure he was going, he was gone.

Sitting alone in the silent room, looking at the door through which he'd just left, I couldn't help but wonder, how this room literally imitated my life! Dark and lonely.

Afraid, I hurriedly shook my head. For I knew that if started thinking about all this, everything would become a lot more difficult for me, which therefore, would worsen my life.

In order to clear my head, I went to the balcony. The sky was studded with millions of twinkling stars, and the moon was at the far end of the sky. I inhaled deeply.

Aah. This is peace.

After standing there for some minutes, I was going back into the room when my gaze travelled down.

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