Maze [Completed]

MAISIE

I watched Dylan walk away with Rachel, her hand in his. I felt like I was going to throw up. I swallowed hard and focussed on Si's hand clenching my upper thigh. I heard his angry whispers in my ears, aware that they were words of hate but struggling to acknowledge them. I had heard them all before.

Si's grip tightened on me, his nails digging through the fabric of my dress and into my leg. I winced, knowing that they would leave marks. 

"What did I tell you about wearing a dress like this?" He hissed into my ear.

I said nothing, we both knew what he had said. I wasn't going to wear clothes like this anymore, I  was attracting attention from other men and Si hated that. I was forcing Si to get angry by wearing this. We both knew what would happen, when everyone left. Si would drink to excess, the life and soul of the party and then, as the door closed on the last person as they left, he would turn into this soulless, black creature. He would scrabble towards me, hitting me, pushing me away then pulling me close to slur drunkenly into my face. 

I hated him.

I blinked, shocked by the obvious realisation.

 I hated him and Si, well he must hate me, doesn't he? This wasn't love. It had never been love. It had always been Si in control and hating it when he didn't get what he wanted. Namely, me. 

Si yanked me to my feet and I stood, lifeless as a doll as he ranted into my face. He squinted closely at me and I don't know what he saw in my eyes but he didn't like it. He strode toward the door and locked it. Si moved closer to me but in a different way, he prowled around me like a hunter. 

I did nothing. 

The first hit was always the worst. It knocked the air out of my lungs, forcing me to fall forward and grip my ribs to support them. I took a shallow inhale and tried to breathe through the pain. 

I thought of Dylan. I thought of his smile. I thought about the way he looked at me, really looked at me when we spoke to each other. Like I meant something.

The blows rained down across my back, he didn't want to make the injuries obvious to the people enjoying the party below me. I sunk down into a ball, curling my legs up beneath me and stared at the ground. 

I wasn't seeing the ground though, I was seeing the night I sat next to Dylan on the beach outside the Clocktower. I was seeing the day I looked out of the window at the yoga studio and saw his tall frame watching me and how the feeling of excitement had leapt into my throat at the sight of him. 

Si grasped my chin, forcing me to look into his face.I could smell cheap rum on his breath as his lips almost grazed mine. His eyes were wild with alcohol and anger and I barely recognised him.

"Tell me you're sorry, Maze. Tell me you're sorry for being a tease, making me mad and I'll forgive you. We can go the party and have a good time. Go on, tell me."

I thought of the life I had wanted, the places I wanted to see. I thought of my family and how they had accepted me into their lives when my mother had died. I thought of the water. I thought of peaceful yoga movements whilst looking out onto the wild sea. 

I thought of how everything would be so different if Dylan had come to sit beside me that first day instead of Si.

I breathed in slightly, ignoring the screaming muscles and bones in my body. I stood up tall and Si stepped back, arms folded, waiting on his apology. On an apology that would never come. 

"Go fuck yourself."