Maze [Completed]

MAISIE

I led Dyl out of the Clocktower and we had climbed into Bee, our trusty getaway car and headed to the sea. I parked and now we lay on Bee's bonnet, our backs against the window and looked up at the sky. It was dark now and stars were scattered overhead. We lay in silence, our hands intertwined. I felt him breathe next to me, slow and steady. I thought about doing this with him every night. Falling asleep next to someone who cared about me, who liked me just as I was.

"You were amazing, Maze." The words fell out of his mouth and I gathered them close to my heart.

I tilted my head to look at him and smiled when I saw that he had done the same.

"What do we do now?" I asked him.

A gentle smile graced his lips, "What do you want to do?"

I looked back up at the sky, "I don't know."

Laughter shook me and I gasped out, "I don't know! Isn't that great?"

Dyl said nothing and let me laugh. The laughter slowly turned into tears and soon I was sobbing, curled into his chest and he remained silent, stroking my back gently.

"I used to do this with my mum, look at the stars," he said softly as if he was talking to himself. "Before she was sick, we would lie on a big blanket on the decking and we'd make stories about the people living on other planets, wondering if there were people doing the same thing that we were doing. I'd tell her everything and she'd listen, helping me find my way through jumbled thoughts and worries."

He continued and I felt his heart beating against the palm of my hand, "After she died, I would drag the blanket out myself and lie there, talking to her because she was still there. She was in the stars. Even when things went wrong with Dad, I'd still lie there and talk to her because I never wanted to feel like I was alone again."

I stroked his chest with my hand, "Do you still do that?"

I felt him nod, "Sometimes."

"You don't feel alone anymore?"

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, "Not when I'm with you."

"I'm going to the police station in the morning. Will you come with me?" I asked.

"You don't even need to ask, Maze. Of course."

I shivered, the cool sea breeze finding all the exposed skin that I normally kept covered. I couldn't believe that I had actually faced Simon and that I had won, he didn't have a hold on me anymore. 

"My mum wasn't a slut, you know. She was a good mum. She would make pancakes every Sunday and we would dance in the kitchen to 80's music. She would plait my hair every night and we would dye the ends of our hair different colours, every weekend. She was my best friend. Something changed though, she met someone. His name was Eddie. They worked together and I don't really realise that something was wrong before it was too late. He was good at hiding things. She became good at hiding things too."

I sat back upright but held onto Dyl's hand, using it as the anchor to a safety that I so desperately needed. I rested my head on his shoulder. 

"I didn't find out to later but he was heavily into drugs and slowly my mum became addicted too. I would come home from school to find the house a complete mess, plates everywhere and the pair of them sprawled out on the couch barely even there. The pancakes stopped, the dancing never happened again and I would go to bed alone because they were never there. One day I came home and the place was empty. Completely empty. All my things were gone. I sat on the floor and waited. And waited. And waited. I was there for hours when my Aunt ran in. My mum had left her a message saying that didn't want me anymore. That I was slowing her and Eddie down. My Aunt had hurried over to find me and I refused to leave. I pleaded and begged to stay but she wouldn't let me."

I stared into the distance, thinking back to that night. How cold home had felt. How hungry I was. How unbelievably tired I was. How completely worthless I had felt. 

Dyl kissed my temple, "Is that why you moved here?"

I nodded, "I had nowhere to go. My aunt wasn't going to put me into care so I moved here and met all of  you. Si, Mike, You."

I glanced at him, "You know, I never forgave my mum. Even after she died from an overdose, I couldn't forgive her. I couldn't understand why she would let a man control her like in such a way that she would  abandon her daughter but that all changed when Si and I got together. It all started out so nicely. He was good to me, he made me feel special and for the first time, I felt like I was worth it. That I meant something to someone."

I blinked, "I remember the first day it happened. It was the night we went to the Clocktower after the last day of school, do you remember it? Si had been drinking a lot and even though I thought he was happy to work and train at his Dad's office I realised that I was wrong. Did you know that I had been accepted into University too?"

Dyl gave his head a shake, "No. I didn't. What were you going to study?"

"Business Management. I was going to come home and take over the yoga studio from my Aunt. I was going to travel and see the world. Study yoga with teachers in India. See Canada and Europe."

"What happened?" Dyl asked quietly. 

"Si found out. I told him that night. It was going to be a surprise. And do you know what he did?"

Dyl's jaw clenched, "No. What did he do?"

"He ripped up my acceptance letter in my face then he punched me so hard, my nose broke. I had to tell my Aunt that I'd fallen down the cellar stairs at the Clocktower. The next day Si was full of apologies, telling me that he was sorry and that he loved me. That was another first too, he'd never told me that he loved me. So I believed him, that it was a mistake and that he would never do it again."

I choked down the tears that were threatening to burst out, "I think I realised that I was turning into my mum not long after we spoke outside the Clocktower that night. I was letting a man control my life. I was letting someone tell me how to live and I didn't want anyone to know that I was just like her. So I hid it and let Si continue to hurt me. I convinced myself I deserved it. It was my punishment for not forgiving my mum. I don't think I'll ever be forgiven."

I slid down from Bee and stepped towards the sand. Dyl followed and we kicked off our shoes, walking towards the sea. It nipped at our toes and was so cold, you could barely feel it until the tide receded. 

"I endured five years of it, Dyl. Five years of torment from Si and now, I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am and I think that's why mum never left Eddie. She didn't know who she was without him."

Dyl spun me around and held me close to him, "You're not your mum, Maze. You can make your own way. If you don't know who you are, then I'll tell you."

He tipped my chin up so that my eyes met his intense stare, "You're a fucking warrior. You're brave. You're beautiful. You're funny. You're friendly. Happy. Joyful. Patient. Bright. Imperfect. Perfect. Angry. Sad. But most of all?"

He placed his lips gently against mine and I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment. As quick as we started, he moved back and rested his forehead against mine.

"You're Maze."