Struck

24th Strike

//Tora

I lost her.

No... that wasn't accurate. She was never mine to lose in the first place.

I smiled as I look at her from the sidelines. The date was a good idea.

_______
It was still early in the morning when we started our date but we managed to find good places to spend time together.

Breakfast at a good cafè while we played 20 questions and we got to know quite a lot about each other.

But it was still not enough.

I still wanted to get to know her more. To get to spend more time with her. To get to see her light up the room whenever she smiles or laughs. To get to see her illuminated in soft morning lights when we wake up together. To get to hear her opinions, whether it be about small or big issues. I'm willing to trade it all just for those moments.

I remembered when Usui asked me something similar to this a few months ago. He said that the answer should always be "yes" and I finally knew what he meant by that.

No amount of assets and prestige can ever amount how Misaki makes me feel. We're still young but I've been thinking my whole life that humans are just like the things I buy -- easily bought, easily replaced. And Misaki helped me break away from that kind of mindset.

Humans are way more complex and precious than any thing with a price tag. Sure there are still rotten humans but I think there are far more good humans out there than I'd like to believe.

I can finally look beyond what I just want to see to protect myself. I can finally appreciate things I'm lucky to have, people I'm blessed with. It's all because of Misaki having the guts to help me out of my fortified wall without breaking it.

I can finally see more than just Misaki's appearances like when we went biking to this park. We were just taking a small break and I looked at her to see if she's okay and I saw her looking down at the lake as if lost in thought.

"Thank you," that's all she said but when our eyes meet, her eyes conveyed almost a thousand words.

I braved myself and held her hand. I sighed when she didn't shove my hand away and just smiled back.

We went back to the hotel to rest 2 hours before we needed to infiltrate the wedding.

We were still holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world when we entered the suite and hesitated before entering our respective rooms.

I held her hand tighter, "I like you, Misaki."

She let go of my hand. "I'm..." she stopped herself and averted my eyes.

"I'm not expecting you to reciprocate my feelings. I just wanted you to know that I'm doing all of this because I want you to be happy, Misaki," I took a deep breath and continued, "you don't have to feel burdened or ever feel guilty. Assisting you makes me happy. And I'm really grateful that I get to spend more time with you. Just your presence makes me happy, Misaki. Don't ever let my feelings hold you back."

I walked inside my room right after that and tried to distract myself from the pain slowly building up on my chest. I thought saying that out loud would take away all the baggage but it didn't.

It got a bit lighter, though. It will probably take a lot more time and self-reflection before I finally let all of this emotions go.

For now, I just have to bear with it and treasure all the moments I get to spend with Misaki even if it's just stolen ones.

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Author's Note: I hope you're all safe and well. And if you're still reading this, my humblest apologies and deepest gratitude. 🙇🙇🙇

I started writing this after reading the manga and was a bit sad with Tora's ending. I wanted to at least give him more... but I got lost in the process. I forgot how to write and how to love what I write, if I ever manage to start a paragraph.

I can't promise a fixed schedule but I'll try to write more frequently and finally write what I wanted for the characters in this story.

Let's stay safe and healthy! And once again, thank you!