Virus 2 - A Zombie Novel

October 2nd 2014

"Can I explain please?" Hudson said from the floor beside the bed. There was no room anywhere else to sleep; and no one wanted to move. I kept my eyes closed; pretending to be asleep. "Fine, I'll just go ahead." He added; waiting for me to stop him. I was hoping he'd stop himself. "A few weeks before you got here a girl - Georgia -"

"I don't want to talk about this." I whispered, my eyes still shut.

"We have to." he insisted.

"No." I shouted, sitting up, letting my curled hair fall in front of face. "We don't."

"I know what I did was wrong."

"I told you I don't want to talk about it." I yelled. He stayed silent; all I could hear was his breathing. I bit my lip, trying not to cry when I said this. "I used to think of you as someone who would never, ever, hurt me."

"I didn't want to -"

"How could I have been so blind?" I interrupted. "I look back on all the things you've said to me and wonder how I could have believed such shit. I let you in. I let you in and you completely destroyed me and everything I'm worth. I opened up and you judged me."

"I know, but you loved the innocent boy and I'm not him. It sucks that I can't be that pure kid that you want." He mumbled. "Do you know how much I wanted to be him?"

"I didn't love you because you were innocent. I loved you because you looked past the stuff I had one. Well; I thought you did." I scoffed getting out of the bed. I couldn't stay, he would want to keep talking about it and I can't do that. I hardly slept last night thinking of things to say to him; and now I have my chance none of them are harsh enough.

"Don't go." He said also standing. "Look I need to explain. You're going to hear it, let it be now or in a day, a week, a year, 10 years. It's going to happen." I crossed my arms, turning to look at him. It hurt to look at him. He was the life I wanted. He was the person I actually wanted to go through all of this with. But I can't trust him. I will never be able to trust him again. Without him I have no point being here. Not only in this house but this world. I have no purpose. I don't want to do this anymore.

"Fine I will listen to you." I mumbled looking down. "But on one condition."

"What? Anything!" he smiled slightly, happy I agreed.

"You'll kill me after." I whispered looking up. His smile faded.

"What?" he asked. He looked shocked; his mouth slightly open, his eyes widened.

"I want to die." I smiled through the pain. I wanted to die. I'm ready to go. I want to choose when to leave this earth and I want it to be in my terms.

"I - I can't."

"Then I won't listen and I'll do it myself." I turned and grabbed the door handle.

"Fine!" he shouted, making me let go. "I'll do it. I'll kill you." I faced him, smiling softly. "Just - sit down." I sat down on the bed, wiping under my eyes.

"Tell me what happened." I said.

"A few weeks before you got there a girl called Georgia arrived. She was nice; a Christian girl."

"Just give it to me straight." I said weakly. "No more bullshit."

"After Ruby warned her about me, she wanted to run away. I kept refusing, but she was persistent." He breathed heavily. "She even started to pack my clothes. We - we got into a fight and she threw herself onto me, kissing me. I kept pushing her away but she wouldn't back down." He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I was really angry; and under estimated my strength. I shoved her off me and she hit the wall." He stopped, unable to say anything.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I broke her neck." He whispered, removing his hands from his eyes. "I told Ruby and she started panicking. She was scared everyone would leave and we'd have no protection." He ran his fingers through his hair, his hands shaking. "Ruby buried her behind the shed in the backyard. She made me promise I would never tell anyone. When everyone started asking questions she told them she must've gone walking by herself, and was bit."

"Ruby wanted me to stay away from you so you didn't tell me." I whispered. He nodded, reaching out and grabbing my hand.

"I never wanted to keep anything from you." He said frantically. I stared at our hands. He gripped mine hard while mine stayed limp, I didn't want to hold his hand.

"You told your story." I snatched my hand out of his. "We had a deal."

"You still want me to kill you?" he laughed. "After what I told you."

"Just - please." I got off the bed.

"No." he refused. "I won't do it."

"Then I will."

"No I won't let you." He interrupted. I looked around, my eyes finally landing on the blade next to me. I picked it up, holding it to my wrists. "Emmeline!"

"See; I can't trust you." I smiled slightly, my lips quivering.

"Please Em, I can't let you do this." His voice weakened, and I could start to see his eyes water. "Put down the knife."

"I want out!" I shouted. "I'm sick of living in this cruel world where there's nothing but violence and lies."

"We can sort it out." The first tear dropped onto his cheek.

"We probably can." I admitted. "But how long before one of us lies to each other again?"

"You can't die." He stepped closer, so I lowered the blade closer to my wrist.

"Stop." I closed my eyes. "I want to die when on my terms. Not by a Walker, not by a stranger." I pressed the cold steel against my skin.

"Emmeline -"

"Let me go." I smiled opening my eyes and running the blade across my skin. The pain kicked in instantly.

"NO!" He screamed, running over to my aid straight away. But I couldn't let him stop me. I switched hands with the knife and ran the blade over my other wrist. Now both wrists had blood pouring out of them. I already felt weak. Just as I was falling Hudson caught me, cradling me in his arms. "HELP!" he yelled. "Don't close your eyes." he whispered to me. I looked up at him, smiling. I could hardly feel it anymore. All I could feel was myself slipping away as the litres of blood poured out of me. He pressed his forehead to mine, letting his tears drip onto my face. I heard the door open, but I was too weak to turn my head.

"Shit." I heard.

"What happened?" someone else asked. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see peoples face as they watched me bleed out.

"She slashed her wrists." Hudson whimpered. "Emmeline?" he added. He shook me in his arms. This was the way I wanted to go. My family around me. My breathing got slow and shallow. Until I felt the last heart beat, and the last breath of air escaped my lips, and I was thrown into darkness.