BOUND TO MY MATE

CHAPTER 17

Keep your face towards the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you - Walt Whitman

Am I in Heaven?

I felt the sun's rays on my face before my eyes opened. The warmth emanating from them as they caressed my skin was glorious. I could hear birds chirp along with the stream's flow to the east of me. The light tickle I felt from the wind as it brushed past my cheeks caused me to give a weak smile. My eyes peeled open, and I was met with the lightest blue skies as I lay in a meadow full of multi-colored flowers.

I knew this place. I had been here before.

With Elijah.

Once unfocused and unreliable, my memories came flooding back to me in waves the missing threads of my memory started to mend themselves. And the more they re-entered my mind, the more upset I became. I remember how Miranda stabbed me in the stomach, how she did it to appease some ridiculous fantasy she built in her head about being with Elijah. She tried to kill me, and I was dying. But Elijah saved me. He brought me back from death.

He tried to make me forget him.

Motherfucker.

How could he? Why would he do that to me? To us? My shoulders slumped as insecurity filled me to the brim. What if he decided that having a human mate wasn't worth the trouble? Did he think he would be better off without me? He said it was for my protection, but what if he tried to spare my feelings? Shouldn't we have fought harder to be together?

I don't know how long I lay in the meadow, but judging from the tightness in my legs, it was a while. However, it didn't escape my notice that the sky never changed. There was no sign that any time had passed other than the stiffness of my muscles. Elijah told me that I created this pocket of space with the mate bond we shared. If I concentrated hard enough, I could bring him here again. Should I? I did want to see him. I was wondering what I would say to him.

"Why did the Moon Goddess even pair me with him"?

"I could answer that sweet, Helena."

Whoa, who the hell was that? I frantically lifted off the ground, my head doing a three-sixty to figure out who was there and where they were hiding.

"Don't worry; I would never hurt you as you're a part of me as you've always been."

"Who are you?" I asked as I looked around, unsure where this voice came from. I thought Elijah messed up something in my brain when he made me forget.

"I'm your past, present, and future."

"Well, that fucking helps. Seriously, who are you? I need a name." I pouted.

"My name is quite literally your name. Like, I said, I am part of you. More specifically, I am you. Or, you're the essence of me.

Hold up, what?

"So, your name is Helena? What do you mean you are me?"

"My name is Helena, but we were also known as Phoebe at another time. That is who we were in our first life."

" Wait a minute, so I'm reincarnated? Am I dead now? What do you mean by our first life?" My voice rose with each question.

I started pacing back and forth through the meadow as my mind raced with these questions. The panic was winning over all other emotions.

"Stop."

I obeyed the command and stopped straight in my tracks. Whoever this was, they had a firm hold on me.

"I want you to relax. I am going to show you who we are. How we came to be."

A light breeze engulfed me as relaxation flowed in and out of my body. I could feel my consciousness slowly drift to the back of my mind. It felt like being half-awake. You're here, but you're not here. You're aware, but you're not mindful. The scene began to change in front of me, and soon I was in front of a small cabin with yellow roses planted all around it. I could smell a stew cooking inside and hear a woman's voice humming.