CHAPTER 37

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The mind is like water. When it's turbulent, it isn't easy to see. When it's calm, everything becomes more apparent. (Prasad Mahes)

I sat there staring at my mother for a long time, trying to piece together what to say. Talking to her about boys should have been easy in an ordinary world, but it wasn't. How could I explain the chaotic world that I was now enthralled in? Would she be able to understand the wreckage that was in my heart?

"Mom, I don't understand how to explain my dilemma. There are just some things that I do understand and some that I don't," I reasoned.

Hey, eyes narrowed slightly. "I may not be a supernatural being or have any idea what it means to have a mate, but I can tell you, sweetheart, that men are just men, no matter if they're supernatural. I have lived a life and know little about matters of the heart."

I laughed, "I suppose you are right about that. Well, you know about Elijah and that he is my mate, but I have another mate." Her eyes widened. "Yes, apparently, in my...other life, I did a spell with Rosa that showed me Elijah being my mate, but Rosa also saw another mate, and she kept that from me. I did meet him before, but he was....let's say he seemed dangerous, perhaps even evil. He showed me how to access this power inside me, but he wanted to use it for nefarious purposes. I recently met him again in this life, and he seems different...changed, and I'm attracted to him more than I care to admit right now." My shoulders slumped, and I admittedly felt drained all over again. "Then there is all this drama with Elijah, the secrets, and the inescapable feeling that he doesn't value us being mates as seriously as he should."

My mother let out a whistle. "Well, you certainly have it going on, Helena. First, you must ask yourself, 'Who do you want to be with and why?' You know your heart; you're just scared and confused because you've never been in love, and now you have to choose between two guys you care deeply about, "she paused, "but don't rush to figure it out. Time and patience are the two things in life that are practically limited. So, give yourself that and try not to make rash decisions."

I knew that she wouldn't understand how serious this was. I can't wait to choose when my heart is not the only one in peril. Then all the supernatural creatures are coming from me in all directions because of my lineage. My life was seriously becoming a giant cluster fuck.

"You make that sound so easy, and it's not. There are so many factors that I have to consider, and I am still trying to figure out who I am. Either decision I make, countless people can and will get hurt, including myself. Elijah has been with me from the beginning, but I can't help but think that if I knew about my other mate, I could have saved us from this doom destined to repeat itself. Not to mention he has had a whole life before me. Had I not stepped into this picture, he could have been happy with a she-wolf. And then there is Cal. A wolf who has decided to change his outlook on life and power to appease me. To win me. How can I just easily say no to him?"

I finished with a huff and wondered if my mother understood anything I had said. It was such a long-winded explanation, but I hit all the keynotes.

She tucked another loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I can't tell you what to do. I can only tell you that the hardest choice is always right. You are still young, and you don't have to make a choice now." I started to say something, but she cut me off. "No, listen to me. I don't want to hear about how you lived a life before or how the world is at stake. When you're this age," she gestured to me with moving hands, "Everything is always so dramatic. It's the end of the world, no matter what. Give yourself time to evaluate the situation and see what will make you happy."

Regarding advice, this was the best a mother could do. Could it help me? I wasn't so sure that it would or that I would listen to her. As much as my Mom wanted to understand what was happening, I don't think she did. A war was brewing, and I was at the center of it.

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