SURVIVE (THRIVE: Book Two)

Chapter 20- Fuzzy

As I step into the main hall, I feel a strange chill come over me. I was just here the other day, but it still feels surreal being back here after all this time. As I walk through, I look over the banners and things that adorn the walls. One of them is made from fabric that had been dyed bright blue and is covered in our handprints from my first life. If I'm remembering right, I was only seven when we made it. It truly does feel like a lifetime ago, it's odd knowing that I was among the few people who can say that and honestly mean it.

"You alright, kiddo?" Nanea asks as we head toward the throne room.

"Yea," I say as I start to look around "Wait, why are the servants ignoring us?" I ask, feeling confused.

"While they all already found out who you are, they've been sworn to secrecy for the foreseeable future. Since there are some visitors here right now, they're all playing it safe," she explains.

"Oh wow, okay." I say as I glance down the hall "You've been doing this whole double life thing for a long time, huh?"

"You got it," she smiles "It's been my little secret since I turned eighteen."

"God, I can't imagine keeping it up as long as you have." I sigh "I feel like I'm in over my head with this."

"Relax, even if you blow it, it's not the end of the world." she says as she playfully bumps into me "Do what I do. If you really feel like you have nothing to hide, people won't think that you do. Just act natural, and don't focus on coming up with lies. Just say as little as you're comfortable with and go on with your day." she explains confidently.

"Wow..." I say as I think about the idea "Aunt Lily, when did you get so smart?" I ask curiously.

"Since I started living with teenagers. I swear, you all think you're good at hiding stuff. But it's when you're trying to cover your asses that you slip up." she winks "So, you finally had your first kiss, huh?" she asks, and I stop dead in my tracks.

"How'd you know about that?" I ask as I feel the blood drain from my face.

"I heard you guys talking after you got home last night. The doors are thinner than you think, you know." she laughs as she continues down the hall.

"Damnit, you aren't going to tell Daddy, are you?" I ask nervously.

"Not my place to say." she shrugs "Besides, you're over a century old now, I think you're entitled to your own decisions when it comes to dating," she states boldly.

"Good point." I sigh in relief as we step into the throne room where Roxie and my cousins are sitting, talking to a few city folks. It seems like they're going over some sort of request for farmland.

"We'll go over everything and see what we can do." Roxie explains hopefully "Your family has been so helpful to us for years now. It would be my honor to repay that generosity." she smiles.

"Thank you so much, your highness." the mother says respectfully.

"My pleasure." Roxie smiles as she waves one of the guards over "Herschel, please walk them out." she orders. Herschel nods as he begins to lead them down the hall. As soon as they're gone, Phoenix and Desire exchange looks, then immediately dash at me. Just as they're about to make contact, I slyly duck out of the way, causing them to crash headfirst into the wall.

"Son of a-" Phoenix shouts as he pushes himself back up.

"Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice-" I giggle as Desire cuts me off.

"You win this round, Breeze." Desire laughs as she stands up, holding her fist out for me to bump.

"Please, it's Tessa now," I state as I look around the room.

"You'll always be Breeze to me." Roxie states as she stands up and shakes her head at her kids "And you two will always be nothing but trouble."

"Just trying to keep things interesting for you, Mother," Phoenix states as he brushes the dust off of his shoulders.

"I can see that." she laughs as she starts to head down the hall "I'll be in the hot springs if anyone wants to join me in a bit."

"I'm there," Nanea states as she quickly follows behind her. After they leave, I look around the room now that it's mostly empty. As I stare up at the crest on the ceiling, I feel myself start to smile.

"So, what's new?" Desire asks as we start to head upstairs.

"Not a whole lot, just my entire world changed within a few days." I say sarcastically "You know, the usual." I laugh.

"Awakening shook you that much?" Phoenix asks.

"Not just that, I..." I pause as I try to think about how to even begin to explain what's going on with Magnus "I think I started seeing someone." I state, and suddenly, Phoenix and I nearly trip backward down the narrow stairs when Desire stops in front of us.

"I'm sorry, you're doing WHAT NOW?" Desire asks excitedly as Phoenix and I try to regain our footing.

"Seeing someone?" I state nervously "He was just a friend, but after talking one on one more, he kissed me. And now... can you stop looking at me like that?" I ask as I stare at the overly eager expression on her face.

"That's incredible!" she shouts as she grabs my hand and drags me up the rest of the stairs to her room.

"Sis, calm down." Phoenix sighs as he trails behind us "Just because you're a slut for romance doesn't mean that she's as nuts as you."

"Don't be a dick, you know why I'm excited." She smiles as we come in and get comfortable on her bed. "You have never really dated anyone in the past, I guess I'm just excited that you're finally experiencing something new."

"I suppose you're right about that," I state as I look around. Just like everywhere else, this place is just how it was years ago. "You know, I never really understood any of what you were telling me about until he kissed me. It made me feel... well..." I try to think back.

"Fuzzy?" Desire asks, seeming to understand.

"Fuzzy." I smile "But in the best way possible, I swear. Is that how you felt the first time?" I ask curiously.

"It was." she smiles softly "And I've been trying for over a century to get that feeling back again." she explains.

"Oh, so that's why you-" Phoenix tries to cut in.

"Call me a slut one more time, and you're getting thrown out the window." Desire states bluntly "Look, I clearly enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Apparently, well enough that Mother decided to name me accordingly this time around since she saw it coming. But, love and lust are too similar, yet completely different things. Depending on what you need, either can make the perfect fit." she explains happily.

"I guess I never thought about it that way." I say as I ponder things more closely "I've never really cared about the physical side of things before, but now, it just feels right."

"Atta girl." Desire smiles.

"So, tell me," Phoenix begins carefully. "Is he hot?"

"Get your own boyfriend, jackass." Desire states as she flings the tiniest flame at him. As soon as it hits his shirt, he quickly pats it out.

"I'm trying, I promise you." he states as he brushes the embers off "I'm just curious what your type is after all these years."

"Oh," I start as I watch Desire twirl her fingers, playing with a small flicker of fire. "I don't really feel like I have a type, I just know that I'm attracted to him. Does that make sense?" I ask nervously.

"Hell yea, it does." Desire smiles "Sometimes, you don't know what you want until you can see it in front of you." she explains happily as she closes her fist, putting out the little flame.

"God, when did everyone around here get so smart?" I ask sarcastically.

"Lifetimes of experience." Phoenix laughs.

"And yet, we never seem to really change." I giggle.