SURVIVE (THRIVE: Book Two)

Chapter 62- Past Mistakes

"Are you sure you're okay?" Phoenix continues to pry as we make our way down the hall to the throne room.

    "Yes," I say irritatedly as I rush ahead "Dez, you don't look so good," I say worriedly as I catch up to her. She's still pale and is walking somewhat hunched over with her arms crossed over her chest.

    "I'll be fine," she sighs as she turns to me sympathetically "That was just hard to watch."

    "I understand," I say as I gently rub her shoulder "As much as I needed you then, I'm glad you weren't there."

    "Mother, would you slow down," Phoenix calls out, but Roxie is practically running for the stairs "He's not going anywhere, you know."

    "Roxanna," Eli says sternly, and suddenly she turns around, looking both angry and guilt-ridden simultaneously "Breathe, the last thing you want to do is rush in and scare the poor kid," he explains as he makes his way to the front of the pack.

    "I agree," Magnus states as he steps forward, "maybe we should go in and soften the ground a little first," he suggests.

    "Not a bad idea," Desire adds "Not to mention, the first thing he'll probably want to know is whether Tessa is okay."

    "Go on," Aurora orders as she helps Roxie to sit down "We'll be up in a few, okay?"

    "Got it," I smile half-heartedly, but honestly, my nerves are kind of shaken. Seeing my memories is hard, and today has already been a lot. But now it feels like Kai is about to be metaphorically thrown into the flames, and I know it's going to be hard. Unfortunately, it was going to have to happen sooner or later. As we make our way up the stairs, I peek around but don't see anyone in the hall. Knowing the coast is clear, we quickly duck into my room to find Kai and Jasper waiting for us.

    "Oh my god," Kai says with relief "Are you okay?"

    "I am now," I sigh, glancing around the room "But that wasn't easy."

    "I didn't imagine it would be," Jasper sighs "You scared me to death," he says as he comes over to hug me.

    "What did you have to do?" Kai asks curiously.

    "It's a long story," Magnus interjects "but right now, we have something else we need to talk about and we don't have much time."

    "What's wrong?" Jasper asks nervously. As I glance between the two of them, I take a deep breath.

    "Someone wants to talk to you," I state, speaking directly to Kai. He immediately looks nervous and stands up, taking a few steps back.

    "Me?" he asks worriedly "Who even knows that I'm here?"

    "Um," Magnus begins nervously "The queen." As soon as he says that, Kai becomes frantic and begins to nervously pace back and forth, seemingly terrified.

    "What the fuck?" he asks, but doesn't seem to be directing the question at any of us "Why? Why now?" he starts pacing faster and nervously combing his hair back.

    "How did she know he was here?" Jasper asks, concerned.

    "We went through my memories, one thing led to another, and here we are," I explain, watching Kai spiral into anxiety. Suddenly, he stops pacing.

    "They're gonna lock me up, aren't they?" he asks frantically "Why else would she of all people want to speak with me?"

    "No, you don't understand-" Magnus tries to jump in.

    "I mean, considering everything I've done, they might as well, right?" he states, laughing sarcastically "It may have been my so-called family doing the deed, but do you know how many lives have been taken in my name? Do you?" he asks desperately, hyperventilating as he looks between us.

    "That was never your fault, and you know that." Magnus sighs.

    "Maybe," he responds, turning to look out the window "Maybe..."

    "Malakai," I say calmly, trying to keep my composure "None of us are perfect either. My family's history is filled with blood, revolution, and corruption. They would all be hypocrites if they didn't hear your story."

    "That may be so," Kai sighs "But from the sound of it, most of everything wrong with your family originated with mine."

    Suddenly, we're all startled by a knock on the door. Kai's face is pale, but I know what I have to do. As I slowly open it, I see that it's only Aurora and Roxie; I'm guessing Phoenix and Desire decided to stay back downstairs.

    "Is he here?" Roxie asks, her voice shaking. I gently nod my head and back away from the door, letting them inside. Their reactions to seeing them are just how everyone else's have been. I can't imagine how the hex on his forehead makes them feel after how many times they fought Gael. Kai is frozen in place as he watches the two of them cautiously enter, and I shut the door behind them.

    "Malakai?" Roxie asks nervously, seeming like she's having a hard time holding it together. It's strange to see her this shaken. Nothing usually scares her, even my memories earlier didn't make her react this badly. Kai suddenly seems like he can start breathing and nods his head.

    "What do you want from me?" Kai asks hesitantly. Roxie glances at Aurora, but she's too busy looking at him curiously. After a deep breath, she seems more composed.

    "Tessa told me everything," Roxie states calmly "Honestly, I don't really know where to start. I want to apologize to you for a lot of reasons. It sounds like you've had a rough go of it, and... I'm sorry for the part I played in that." she sighs, seeming to hold back tears.

    "...your part?" he asks, utterly confused "What are you talking about?"

    "Hold on," I suddenly come to the realization "Kai, do you know any of our lineage?"

    "Not much in this generation," he says, confused "...why?"

    "I'm sorry to bring this up," Aurora speaks up "But Tessa tells me that you have memories from being in utero just like she did, right?"

    "What the hell?" Kai says, looking at me desperately confused "I mean, yes, but mainly that my mother didn't fucking want me and that her friend Victoria helped her to end the pregnancy." he explains painfully "Why?"

    "Kai," I say hesitantly stepping forward, seeing Roxie's face drop "Victoria was originally Scara, and in this generation, she's..." I turn and look back at her, then at Kai. As soon as he puts the pieces together, he looks mortified.

    "You..." he gasps, falling to his knees "You're the one that killed me?"