SURVIVE (THRIVE: Book Two)

Chapter 87- The Heart's Lament

"Breeze, I understand if it's uncomfortable for you to talk about with me, but I'm not going to judge you, I promise." my mother explains empathetically, but I can't stop nervously pacing back and forth.

"I get that, but you're my mom, and this is...intimate and... weird." I say, shivering my arms and rolling my shoulders "He got under my skin and I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Sweetie, try to relax." she says calmly "Try to organize your thoughts a little, where do you want to start? I might be able to help you," she explains. I try to think: I see flashes of him feeding off of me, him pinning me down and explaining he didn't want me intimately, and then the bloodlust that happened when Ember spurred him on. The more I delve into these thoughts, I see what happened when I returned, him calling me shade, tying me down, then suddenly seeming weak and admitting romantic feelings after forcing me to submit to him by making me drink his blood. I feel his icy lips and his hands on my body; my heart starts pounding and I grip the sides of my head, remembering slitting my wrist and the panic in his eyes as he watched me die.

"Breeze," my mom says frantically, "Snap out of it, you're okay here."

"I can't," I mutter, shaking my head "He kept me locked up and fed off of me like some kind of monster, it's absolutely disgusting," I explain, crossing my arms tightly against my chest.

"That part I already know, but I have a feeling that's not what has you so torn up." she sighs, "Roxie told me a little about what you showed her from your memories, I'm sorry if that's an invasion of privacy, but I couldn't help but to worry about you."

"It's okay." I sigh, leaning against the wall.

"I know he mentally took you for a ride; being abused in that way but subsequently being cared for is confusing. Unfortunately, I've been there," she explains solemnly.

"Gael did that too?" I ask worriedly.

"Actually," she sighs "It was your father. Before the gap years, Zade was still under Embrose's influence and it had dire consequences. Now that we know Lucius was the one to blame, the similarities between the two shouldn't be that surprising."

"I... don't even want to talk about the layers of how fucked up that entire situation is, but-" I begin when suddenly I remember words that have been repeatedly brought up to me.

"Don't be so naive, it doesn't look good on you, sweetheart." Lucius states irritatedly "You wanted me to be honest with you, and I was. Poor thing, it's not my fault that you've been lied to your whole life. Now that I think about it, you deserved to know considering that it's the reason why you even came into existence in the first place." he shrugs as he studies my face.

"What the fuck?." I state angrily "You're wrong, they would never keep something like this from me."

"Really?" he asks, suddenly surprised "First, unlike most people, I never tell a lie. Second, the person whose ear is pressed against the other side of that door right now is the perfect example of how willing Dante and Veronika are to keep secrets."

Then, I remember him bringing it up again right before he and my father fought yesterday;

"As it turns out, Embrose was never your friend, just a tool in your endless plots to overthrow us." my father sighs "Thanks to you, far too many people suffered at my hand, but in the end, you were the puppetmaster behind the entire thing."

"That may be true, but at least something good came of it. Do you think your daughter ever would have come to be without my influence?" Lucius asks, caressing my face as we hear another crash of thunder outside "Considering the circumstances of Umbree being imprisoned, I think she wouldn't have been born otherwise."