tw ⚠️
suicide
minor character death
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I stared at the river way below me. Thinking how it could swallow me in, maybe I'd go away by drowning? Maybe.
I'll never know until I do it.
I still remember that day from 7 years ago. Will I forget it? no. Never. The memory is painfully vivid, so much so that I can still feel what I went through and saw.
The wind was quiet just like that night, I can't believe they haven't even cleaned the dock since then. I rolled up my sleeves all the way up and looked at the big scar across my tricep.
flashback
"No! Why are you doing this? This is not a solution. Please just tell me why you're doing this." I called out to him.
I cried, my tricep seared in pain trying to hold on to the guy who was hanging of the dock. My vision was blocked because of the tears streaming out of my eyes.
"I can bring you up. I know I can." I tried to convince him.
"Lino just leave me. Just let go. I don't want you to get hurt more than you already get." he said smiling at me.
"HOW CAN YOU SMILE AT SUCH A SITUATION!!" I yelled.
"It's my choice. To do this, unfortunately, it's the only solution to my problems," he replied calmly.
"THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE!!!" tears kept on streaming down my face.
"Lino I'm tired. I'm tired of living so please leave me." he sighed.
"NEVER!"
"LINO YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WON'T FORGIVE MYSELF IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU!" he got serious all of a sudden.
At this point, my hand was getting weak because of holding him, yet I gathered all my strength to try and hold on for as long as I can.
"Oh no your mom is here." I heard him say.
I got scared and turned around losing my grip on him. When I did I couldn't see anyone there and realized I left him.
I turned around to see him falling
"LINO I LOVE YOU!!" I heard him scream with that same smile on, he had the audacity to still form a heart with his arms.
I let out a strained stream trying to tell myself it's just a dream and this never happened.
I sighed, "Maybe he was right, I could solve all my problems and just disappear away from here."
I leaned forward, now I was sitting on the edge with half of my body outside. I was about to push myself when I finally got back to my senses.
'Minho, breathe.' said something from inside.
'Think you're in a book. You're like the main character. So you'll need to fight for your survival.' The same voice said.
Just then suddenly I heard,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! OH MY GOD," I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and yank me back.
My back hit someone's chest, my eyes widened, 'I didn't think anyone would come here.'
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING? ARE YOU CRAZY?"
The voice felt quite familiar, I turned my head to look back. And there he was, his blonde hair all tousled, his face covered in a thin layer of sweat. Yet he managed to look as marvellous as ever.
"Oh hi," I said casually waving at him.
Remembering that I forgot to call Felix cause he always says, "Whenever something happens you have to call me. Just CALL ME"
I bring out my phone from my pocket and call him.
"Hi, Minho."
"Yeah, so. It happened again."
I could basically hear his eyes widen, "WHERE ARE YOU NOW, LET ME PICK YOU UP."
He took the phone away from his ear attempting to mute it, "Chan take out your car, we need to go somewhere immediately."
'Chan is with him?'
I felt a little dizzy all of a sudden and soon the world turned black.
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Mood swings the highs and the lows. So one second you're all happy and the other second you're not. And you feel like shit and want to disappear.
-kei.
