The Revelation

Who knew

The next day

Stacey's pov

"Hey, cuz, I need your help," Julie said, as she gingerly walked into the common room where Maegan and I were playing.

"What's up?" I set Maegan down in front of a pile of Duplo blocks as I stood to speak to my cousin. "I'm guessing from the way you limped in here that you and the good doctor had a spirited discussion last night about Maegan's R-rated singing audition. Am I right?"

"That obvious, huh?" Julie blushed embarrassed.

"You seriously askin' me that, cuz?" I smirked. "I know the walk of pain when I see it, very similar to the walk of shame and just as uncomfortable, if not more so."

"Ha ha, very funny. Now shut the fuck up and listen."

"Oh my gosh, Mike's beat down obviously missed its mark since you're still swearing in front of my child," I half-jokingly admonished my cousin while temporarily covering Maegan's ears.

"Thank God the boomers don't know what that song is really about or I'd get my butt beat for that too," Julie said.

"Yeah, they probably think it's actually about eating cake while you're at the beach," I replied.

"Aaaanyway," Julie smirked. "Back to the matter at hand."

"The floor's all yours," I gestured for my cousin to continue.

"While I find it quite entertaining to hear Maegan sing Cake by the Ocean, the explicit version, our guardians and Dr. Curtis disagree. Personally, I think it's adorable but as her aunt I'm biased so..."

"I know I get it, cuz. As her mom, I'm officially appalled by her cursing but as a young college student, it cracks me up."

"I know right. You have to admit it's hilarious when she says you're fucking dalifif (delicious) in a spot on impression of Joe Jonas. I mean, that's comedy gold," my cousin laughed.

"Yeah, I know. I got it on video. Honestly, I do think it's funny but Sean spanks her little butt everytime he hears her swear."

"Tell him to get over it," Julie scoffed. "It's damn funny and he knows it. When did he become such a grown-up anyway?"

"I know right. I always figured I'd be the mature responsible one. Who knew?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Plus, you can tell Sean that song is a good way for her to practice her "s" sounds, which are coming along nicely thanks to her speech therapy," my cousin added to her list of reasons why my daughter singing explicit lyrics is a good thing.

"So I'm guessing Sean's gonna do Mike's dirty work by keeping track along with Shane of how many times Maegan curses throughout the week," Julie said, grabbing a handful of Gerber strawberry apple puffs from her niece's snack cup. "These slap," she said, popping some more in her mouth. "You should get Shane to buy these in bulk. I mean, what is there like one serving in this canister?" my cousin asked, pulling the container out of Maegan's diaper bag to refill her snack cup.

Trying to get this runaway train back on track, I asked, "Why would Mike have Sean keep track of how many times Maegan drops f-bombs?"

"Oh yeah, so can you believe Mike said he's gonna tally up Maegan's expletives for the week and every Saturday give me three strokes of his belt for each one, not to mention belting me on the spot when she swears in front of him? I mean, come on. Excessive right?" Julie sat down on the floor next to Maegan and started building a tower with her Legos.

"Can I believe it? Yes, cuz, I can. I mean, it's Mike we're talkin' about. Right?" I joined them on the floor and started building a little house as Maegan handed me the blocks she wanted me to use. "Anyway, what do you want me to do about it?"