The Blood of Darkness

Chapter 33

Kye

Val doesn't come back. I wait up for hours, pacing my room, but she doesn't return.

Did something happen? Is she alright? Is she hurt? Oh, gods. If something happened to her....

Or, was she lying when she said she'd come back? Was she trying to find an excuse to get away from me? If that was the case, then I'm very glad I didn't ask her what I truly wanted to earlier. I said, "Would you like me to tell you how lovely I think you are?" It was the safer option, because what I really wanted to ask was: "Would you like me to show you how lovely I think you are?"

But it didn't seem like she wanted to get away from me that badly. She seemed truly concerned about my bruises, which made sense, because I'm sure she felt guilty about them.

When she was examining my bruises....gods. I couldn't breathe as she touched me. If I close my eyes, I can still feel a whisper of her soft touch. Her fingers brushing my jaw, trailing down my neck, tugging the collar of my shirt down, dancing across my chest....

In that moment, I wanted her so much closer. I wanted to tangle my hands in her hair, pull her face to mine, slam her against the wall, and kiss her senseless.

I didn't, of course. Because I had no idea what she wanted. I never know what she wants. Two nights ago in that alleyway, after we killed that owner of the fighting pits, after Val smiled at me for the second time, she told me that she wanted to kill me. Minutes later, she was saying that she wanted to kiss me. And only a bit after that, she said that she hated me.

Gods, she's confusing. Like I've said before, I could probably lose my mind trying to understand hers. I told her that I wanted her hands all over me, and she scoffed and said that she didn't fucking believe me. She says that she hates me, then indirectly tells me that she cares about me. "I said that this is all your fucking fault! You just had to make me care!"

Some part of me could tell that when she started punching me, she wasn't actually angry with me. More likely, it was herself that she was mad at. She wasn't hitting me as hard as I knew she could. She was holding back. And her words.... the way she said them and the pain in her stunningly beautiful eyes....more than anything, it seemed like she was trying to convince herself that what she was saying was true. Like she was trying to convince herself that it was my fault Vance is being tortured. Which probably means that at first, she was blaming herself, but then couldn't take it, so she decided to blame me. It makes sense, really.

It also makes me mad. Mad that she would blame herself for something like that. Mad that she hates herself because she doesn't want to marry the Dark King. Mad that she thinks she isn't strong enough. Mad that she believes she's a monster.

It even makes me mad that she thinks I'm lying when I say that I want her hands all over me. Sure, my words were a bit forward, a bit of a risk to say, but I've always been one to take risks. I like them.

I like Val even more though.

She better be alright. Please let her be alright. I tell myself that my worries are unfounded. There's no reason she shouldn't be alright. She's strong and capable and deadly. Exquisitely lethal.

But still, I can't shake the thought that something is wrong.

I can't take this worry any longer, so I decide to pay Lake and Neve a visit. I'd bet that at least one of them is awake.

Quietly, I slip out of my room and into the dark hallway. Part of me hopes that Val will step out of the darkness and scare the shit out of me. I linger for a moment, actually hoping, before gently knocking on Lake and Neve's door.