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the sun beamed onto their skin, resting on a picnic blanket in hyde park with some snacks and beverages. ivy, sage and esme decided to soak up the sun whist they had the chance to, choosing to push their work aside to appreciate one of the hottest days of the year as they knew the sunshine would fade in a month or so.

a couple of weeks had passed since ivy last spoke to any of the guys and although she missed them, she felt a lot better in herself. many of them had tried to contact her, mainly ethan and tobi, but they soon began to understand her distance when she encouraged sage and esme to hang out with them again, she did not want them to miss out on the fun just because of her - she was fine with it. simon attempted to message her a few times, but gave up once he realised she did not want to speak to him. he somewhat understood why, but he hated that she finally lived in the same city as him, yet she still seemed so far away.

"ivy?" sage muttered.

ivy slowly brought her sunglasses onto her head and leant up on her elbows, "yeah?"

"are you sure you're okay with the guys coming to my party?" sage questioned.

stifling a laugh, ivy rolled her eyes, "yes, how many times do i have to tell you? i don't want you to have a shit birthday because of me." she fully sat up, stretching her body out before reaching for her premixed cocktail, taking a sip of it, "it's gone warm already." she muttered under her breath, pulling a disgusted face.

"it wouldn't be a shit birthday anyways." sage furrowed her eyebrows.

"just invite them," ivy shrugged her shoulders, "i don't care. honestly."

in reality, ivy did care, a lot. all of the guys, including simon, would be there and the thought of it filled her with dread. the nerves were already overwhelming, even if it was still a few days away, but she wanted sage to enjoy herself and have the best birthday she possibly could, with as many of her friends as possible.

"just checking," sage nodded her head slowly, "because i obviously want to ask everyone now before they make other plans."

"yeah, go for it." a small smile formed on ivy's lips as her skin began to burn, but she could not quite tell if it was from the thought of seeing simon again or the sun, it was most likely a mixture of the two.

ivy pulled her sunglasses back over her eyes and threw her body back against the picnic blanket, letting out an elongated sigh as the sun enveloped her whole body. "did you have fun last night, with the guys?" she questioned.

"erm, yeah." esme nodded her head slowly, "i mean we just had a drink at cal and harry's with ethan and some others, nothing major."

"good." ivy inhaled deeply, "don't want you guys to be missing out because of me."

"well, i don't really care anyways." esme shrugged.

"oh my god!" sage exclaimed, remembering something, "ivy listen to this."

ivy didn't even turn her head to face the girl, her eyes remained closed as she attempted to catch a tan from the british sun, "what?" she muttered.

"well," sage cleared her throat, "harry told me last night that a couple of weeks ago all the guys went out for a drink and simon ended up kicking off and going home."

"oh really?" ivy raised her eyebrows, "kicking off about what?" she murmured, expecting sage to mutter something irrelevant.

"well, about you guys."

ivy instantly sat up and threw her sunglasses to the side, "what do you mean?" she glared at sage with a puzzled expression.

"i don't fully remember what he said, but it was at first about the cal situation and then harry said it's obvious simon still has feelings for you and i guess simon didn't like that, he said that people need to stay out of your business." sage chewed the inside of her cheek, nervously waiting for ivy's response.

"oh," ivy stared at her with a blank expression before looking down at the picnic blanket, "right."

esme glanced at sage with wide eyes before looking at ivy, "i think ethan said something about you guys needing to talk about feelings more and then cal said that you guys couldn't deal with things when you were together so that's why you broke up, so simon went home. but you know what lads are like? they all sorted out by the next day."

ivy scoffed and shook her head, "simon has a point though," she raised a brow, "feels like all the guys seem to think my life only revolves around simon when we're not even together anymore," she sighed, "i understand they're checking up on me, but they seem to think that even when i'm just tired it's related to him, it's annoying."

"yeah, i get you." sage exhaled.

ivy brought one leg up and placed her elbow on her knee, resting her head in her hand, "although they're trying to help or are thinking that they're helping, they're just putting things in my head which pushes me away from simon."

the two girls stared at ivy in silence, not knowing what to say.

"i reckon simon and i would be alright if people didn't jump down our throats all the time and try involve themselves," she took a deep breath in, "but i don't kn-"

"you'd also be alright if you spoke about your feelings more," a cocky smirk formed on sage's lips, "come on, ivy, you and simon both know that's right."

"yeah, yeah." ivy rolled her eyes, laying herself back down, "whatever, i'm sure everything will be fine at your party." she mumbled, resting both hands behind her head.

ivy hated admitting that everyone around her was right. even though she was desperate for people to stay out of her business with simon, she was well aware she needed to open up more often. now she was left in a situation where she had to distance herself from her closest friends, again, and from someone who once meant so much to her. she yearend for things to feel 'normal', if that's how situations could be around an ex and although she needed the space, part of her was desperate for simon's company again.

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