Chapter 33: Granola Bar

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The bright light from the fluorescent tubes in the school library made Robin's head hurt. Or perhaps the pain was a sign of anxiety and lack of sleep wreaking havoc on his body. He tried to massage his temples to alleviate the tension as he squinted toward the computer screen. On account of his mother stealing his laptop, he was relegated to using the university's computer room to memorize his presentation.

Tomorrow he would stand on stage, in front of an audience consisting of faculty members and other interested spectators, and be forced to make his voice carry through every word of it. Every data set and every reference that was part of the research project he would take on--studying the traumatizing experience he'd been through himself as a child--if he was awarded the scholarship.

Robin tried not to think about all the eyes that would watch him or all the whispers that would ensue if he messed up. He tried to just focus on the words. If he remembered every word by heart, then his tongue should know what to do even if his mind froze in fear.

This was just like any other test. That's what he tried to tell himself. It was just a test to study for, and Robin was good at studying. It was the one skill he'd developed through lonely nights in his childhood bedroom, using homework as an excuse to escape his mother's suffocating company.

"How's it going?" the question rattled Robin, who'd been steadfastly focused on the slides in front of him. Which made it possible for a red-headed ninja to sneak up on him.

"Fine," he mumbled, not appreciating the interruption of his focus. He needed to nail this presentation. There was no other option. "Just a few more hours and I think I'll be ready."

Des looked at him with concern, placing her hand on his knee. "It's already 8 p.m, Robin," she said. "You need to rest as well before tomorrow. Otherwise, all this studying won't do you any good. And have you eaten anything today?"

"I had a tuna sandwich," Robin replied, trying to read the numbers on the screen between the questions.

"That was for lunch. Almost eight hours ago. I was with you, remember?"

Robin shrugged. Neither breakfast, lunch, nor dinner seemed important in comparison to this. He could eat later.

"Here eat this." Des handed Robin a cashew nut-flavored granola bar. He gave it a suspicious look. Chewing seemed awfully time-consuming. But Des stern look told him he had no other choice but to eat.

He took a bit. The sweet granola crunched between his teeth before infusing his body with energy. He took another bite, reverting his gaze from the screen.

Maybe he did need to eat, because once he'd started, he couldn't stop. As he finished the first bar, Des handed him a bottle of orange juice. The tangy beverage took the edge of his headache as he used it to wash down the snack.

"Another?" Des asked, already holding out a peanut-flavored bar. Robin snatched it without a word, eagerly digging his teeth into it. Suddenly, the world seemed less fuzzy.

"I figured you wouldn't have eaten anything," she said, stroking matted hair out of his face. "You need to remember to take care of yourself, Robin."

"That's what I have you for though," he mumbled, mouth full of granola, managing a smile as he swallowed. It was true, Des had always been like an older sister to him--even though they were the same age--always tending to his needs and advocating for him.

"I'm serious, Robin." Des sighed in exasperation. Perhaps she'd hoped that her hopeless younger brother eventually would become self-sufficient."And where's your boyfriend? He should be taking care of you, not me. That's like a boyfriend's job isn't it?"

Robin diverted his attention to the computer screen once again, pretending like the question didn't bother him. "He's in Halifax, remember? And we kind of fought, I guess. I'm not sure we're even together. We said we would talk once he came back."

He'd realized he'd never sent the text message to Tyler after work, but once he'd discovered it the next morning felt too late. The words just seemed stale and flat. Like only someone really desperate would blurt out "I love you" after being together for only a few weeks.

That didn't mean the words weren't true though.

Des gasped. "You can't be breaking up! You're perfect for each other."

Robin sighed, taking another bite of the granola bar before the tears started to roll. "I don't want us to. Of course, I don't. But I need to fix stuff here first, like with school. And maybe he can't wait for that."

Des patted his shoulder softly. "I'm sure you can work things out. Don't give up yet."

"I hope so." Robin wiped an insistent tear off his cheek. "I need him." He looked up at the screen again, his mind suddenly more alert. The words seemed easier to retain.

Another soothing tap on his hair. Des let her hand slip down to his neck, massaging tense muscles and easing his headache.

"I think you've studied enough," she said. "You know this stuff, Robin. You'll be better prepared if you let yourself get some rest. Come with me back to my dorm and we'll eat pizza--because you can't just live off granola bars--and watch a nature documentary."

"Give me an hour," Robin suggested, wanting to do another read-through on a fueled brain. "And can we watch Jeopardy instead?"

This may be the first time he asserted his own will when watching something with his friend. Des looked surprised at his newfound confidence.

Robin shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to make a big deal of the request. "I'm kind of tired of lions chasing antelopes," he explained.

"Sure, we can watch what you want," Des conceded. "I'll get the pizzas and we'll meet at my place at nine?"

Looking up toward his presentation again, Robin nodded. Just one more hour and he would know this. Then he just needed to keep his composure during the terrifying presentation tomorrow that would decide his future.

An antelope chased by a lion probably had a better chance of survival than he had of succeeding, but regardless of the odds, he would try. Robin would try his absolute best to stay around so he could mend things with Tyler.

 Robin would try his absolute best to stay around so he could mend things with Tyler

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