The mirror showed me how truly broken I was, it showed me how unable I was to live happy
Terrible experiences turned my body into a painting of scars and insurmountable pain I had put my heart and soul on getting forgiveness but in the end I lost m...
My classes were going so well, I had Kieran by my side. I didn't care about the glares not texts I had recieved today. As expected girls threw their selves at kieran, I wasn't even surprised at it, keiran is hot not as hot as Ivan but he is.
Keiran decided to ditch the last class of the day because he said "my brain my explode out of boredom " so he's some where around. I took a deep breath and walked into Ms Newman's class I took my seat at the middle, I wasn't brave enough to sit at the back with Analise and Ivan. The only thing that made their awful pda bearable was keiran He distracted me from them but once in a while my eyes would find its way back to his.
He had seen me emotionally bare infront of him He saw me vulnerable and didn't complain anytime I looked at Analise my head and my heart would argue My head knew that hanging out with Ivan would be disastrous but my heart wanted him I decided not to listen with my heart anymore, I'd only follow logic The last Time I followed my heart, mom manipulated me, never again am I going to act on my feelings for Ivan I am not a mini version of my mother, I refused to be
Fighting the urge to turn back or text him, I paid attention in class. The last bell signifying the end of school, stopped Ms Newman from chattering about Shakespeare" shall I compare thee to a summers day " I took notes for keiran as well knowing that the idiot would have to catch up I put my things in my bag and walked to my locker, Malvolio was leaning on it, just my luck. I couldn't run away because he had already seen me " Hi Malvolio " " lotus...." He was cut off by Aurelia screaming his name When he turned I took it as a cue to run away I dashed to the football field and sat on the bleachers trying to calm my heart I saw a male silhouette sitted faraway from Me, I walked closer and recognised him to be kieran and he was smoking a joint "You still smoke " his eyes snapped to mine as i sat beside him He blew the smoke out "never stopped " he passed it to me but I declined "I am clean kieran " he nodded and crushed it using his feet. " when did you stop " he questioned " A year ago " he answered with a soft humm " I missed you when you were released, kruger tortured the hell out of me whitehead " I flinched slightly at the name of the devil incarnate He was the Head nurse but made our lives miserable "How's Kiki?" Kiki was our other friend in the clinic Keiran looked at me solemnly " Kiki 's dead, she OD(over dosed " my eyes widened She killed her self, I couldn't blame her, she was at clearminds the longest, he parents never came for her, she was always alone and sickly pale and thin, you could count her bones no matter how much she ate.
She always longed for death, just like me but life was more generous to her and gave her an escape first Maybe I should try over dosing, " she couldn't bear kruger abuse anymore " I nodded for him to continue " it got worse when your mom pressed charges. My eyes blazed with fury, what the hell is wrong with my mother. She blamed the institution when she saw some of my scars She had no right to blame them, she was the one who sent me to that depraved place in the first place. She had no remorse when she sent me away. And now I felt guilty for killing Kiki " it's not your fault lotus" I scoffed at that statement I had heard that statement a lot more lately But this was, how many people had I killed because of my stupidity another reason why I had to steer clear of Mal and Ivan. " why did you get released late?" He smiled " I punched kruger and my dad thought I needed to be taught a lesson " I laughed Keiran deeply hated his father, I knew he punched kruger just so he wouldn't have to go home He would rather stay in isolation than go home "I hope you're gonna steer clear of trouble keiran " he grinned wickedly "We'll see won't we whitehead " I laughed. I looked down and saw the football team practising Ivan was on the team, everything brought me back to him. I heard keiran take a breath " I should probably get home before francesco flips " his father's name is francesco. We got up together and walked to the exit, I turned back and met Ivan citrine eyes.
I broke out of whatever trance I was in and walked away from the football field. We walked to his bike
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I got on his bike and sat down, I wasn't scared of bikes, I have had enough motorcycles joy rides to last a life time. I hugged his torso and with a rev we left the school compound.
