BROKEN

Fifty one

Look at those cuts on your body
Look at those bruises
They are warrior marks
Proof that you're a fighter alive and well
Proof that you'll oneday overcome.

This is the card we were dealt with, this life that the Almighty gave us. The card of fate we were dealt. A life where apparently something good happens but then it vanishes like it was never there again. Life is vain. It sometimes astonishes me how the good ones are taken away first while the bad ones are alive with breath in their lungs given a chance to change but they don't anyway. Tigers never do change their stripes.

It had been twelve days since I started using this cursed journal, my therapist advised me to pick it up again. After writing my therapist is stupid for the first 10 pages, I finally started pouring my heart out in ink, and the pages bathed in my salty tears.
Today was Malvolio's funeral, the news had been over the news, tabloids and many channels. The sandaval construction and airline heir dies. My best friend, the bonnie to my Clyde, my friend was dead. I'll never hear his voice, hug him, have sleepovers nor hear him give me advice that made me doubt his age.

The funeral had been pushed back because of the press hounding Ximena and Aurelio, Malvolio parents, the sandaval family had been publicly harassed, by tabloids saying Malvolio committed suicide because he couldn't handle the immense pressure of being an only heir. Though Malvolio had told me of the pressures he never would have decided to end his life. To say Ximena was devasted was an understatement, she hugged Malvolio close body in the hospital begging him to come back to her. Her miracle baby was dead, it was painful to watch.

It's so funny how life can suddenly change at a snap of a finger, the screams I heard when I watched the surveillance camera of the incident would serve as an alarm. The flames that licked the surface of the car the blood that flowed out of the car, the way Sol's eyes were wide opened when she was found. In all odds their fingers were still intertwined together and a ring was found in Malvolio seat he wanted to propose to her.
I was crumbling from the inside out, tears welled up in every of my being. "Lotus " I wiped my eyes furiously, almost as if I wanted to blanch my face with the back of my coarse cardigan.
"Stop it lotus." Ivan said while trying to pry my hands from my eyes.
"We are going through this together remember" I nodded in his chest, he let me calm down before leading to the funeral.

We got down from the car and I took in the grim mood, lilies scattered around, the press outside the church, the coordinated colour of black and the color the the grey cloud above our heads, almost as if the sky was mourning with us

"Goodbye Malvolio" I whispered as he was lowered into the ground, Mrs sandval crashed on the wet muddy floor not caring about the millions of eyes and cameras pointed at her.
"My baby boy " she cried almost wanting to jump six feet under with him
"My child, my miracle, Milagros regresa a mi por favor." I turned my back when she started crying out in Spanish that she wanted to die with her child. I turned my back but I could hear her, I hugged Ivan while he comforted me me and holding an umbrella over our head, the rain had begun to drop.
"Dios por favor traemelo de vuelta. Por favor Dio" she wailed more wanting to rip the clothes off her body.
"I want to die with my son, please" it was A struggle to finally get her to calm, the procession was finally over, Malvolio and Sol were laid side by side, they could finally rest. My Aunt ensured the drunk driver spent the rest of his life behind bars, I wanted to kill the bastard myself but Ivan said divine justice would finally take its course.