twenty-seven

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karl's hand rested on my thigh the whole drive home.
my head rested against the darkened window my tired eyes were pinned to, not even looking out anymore. i just tried to keep myself from falling asleep because of the lack of sleep and how exhausted i was. karl kept silent.
i felt that he wanted to say something he couldn't find the words for or maybe he had them on his tongue but just thought the moment wasn't fitting. he'd be right about that.

i did want to talk about the situation we were currently in but not in this state of mind where all i wanted was silence and sleep and he must have felt the same way because he was lacking sleep just as much as i did.

i felt myself give up and drive off to sleep before my thoughts could lead to overthinking, ending up in a peaceful emptiness.

when i woke up again the sun was shining onto my face and i felt my heavy feeling body laying down on karl's soft bed. i stretched a little, looking around to see karl next to me, being on his phone.
his attention was drawn to me at the noise i made while stretching, making him smile. "morning"
"morning", i sit straight up. "what do you want for breakfast?", i look at him with a questioning expression on my face. "pancakes sound really great, thank you endlessly. you're an angel", he responded.

i got up to head to the bathroom first, getting ready before i went to make us breakfast.
he entered the kitchen as i was done, making me sit down on the other side of his table.

we ate in silence for a moment before he dropped his fork to look at me. "can we.. talk?"
i look up as well, knowing exactly where this will lead to. "we have to, yeah", i answer and wait for him to continue.

"i-", he shifts in his chair, "i really like you."
i look into his eyes. "you make me happy, like genuinely. i forget everything when you're with me, i can be who i truly am and don't need to hide anything. everytime your skin touches mine there are thousands of little sparkles all over my body and i get shivers sent down my spine when you look at me with these ardent and dreamy eyes. i don't know what you feel or think but considering the emotions you put into the kiss i i know that you might feel the same. ash, i don't want to be just friends. i want to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up next to you every morning. not because your house is not habitable and you have to, but because i want to be with you.", he looked at me, unsure of my reaction but he looked admiring, his eyes full of hope.

i couldn't help but smile at his words as he grabbed my hands over the table and continued.
"i want to share everything with you, every moment of my life. i want to take you on dates, make fun and cute memories, and- god i'm so bad with words.", he laughed, taking a deep breath. "i knew i fell for you the moment you got in my car, you casted a spell on me the second our eyes locked, making me fall so hard, now i can only hope for you not to let me fall all the way down again."

i was speechless for a few seconds, smiling at him.
"god please say something", he giggled nervously.
"let me comprehend your cuteness for a second, idiot."

"i get the same feeling you just described. i know that i like you, a lot. the butterflies never leave my body when we're cuddling or you grab my hand while walking. you make me happy and i enjoy every moment together, i just- i just don't know if i'm ready for a relationship right now.", my voice was more quiet in the end, making the happy look on his face disappear in a second.

"that doesn't mean that i don't want to try", i rush to say, not meaning to hurt him. "i just want to take things slow, okay?"
he nods with hope in his eyes, smiling once again. "i totally get that and am willing to take things slow. define slow please, i wanna do things at your pace."

i smile at his respectful and caring words. "everything like it is now, working us up slowly."
"so we can cuddle and kiss?", he grinned as i nodded.
"may i ask you out on a date?"
"i'd love if you do."
"how does saturday sound?"
"amazing.", we both smile at that, not letting go of each others hand as we finish our breakfast.

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