A Doubtful Heart

- 1 -

As he was looking away, Syn realized that it has already been one month since he last saw Nuer. Not that he didn't miss his boyfriend, but they talked so often that somehow, he didn't see how fast time can fly. Nuer would send him every single day a text, saying how much he was eager to be with him again and how boring his summer class was, which Syn would answer by a religious and rightful answer about cherishing a moment. Nuer didn't really have a choice as his parents decided that he should be the top one of his classes, so when they send him to this one-month summer camp, Nuer and Syn got separated even though they have been together only for a couple of weeks.

Syn was casually waiting at the bus stop that would bring him to the train station. Kuea did ask him if he wanted to be ride there, but Syn wanted to be alone with Nuer at the exact moment his lover will got off the train. As he was waiting, he realized that both of them never really talked about their feelings. The exact moment they first kissed at the bar, happened like it was only natural for them - even though the first kiss was an accident. But soon after that, Syn assumed that they just became boyfriends, but never really get the chance to put word on it. It was a weird thought, but he casually erased it from his brain. He didn't want his heart to go through some doubt. However, he couldn't get rid of the sentence Kuea said to him about Love being kind of a trial.

Later on, he did arrive at the train station, maybe ten entire minutes too early, but he knew that it would need those minutes to know the exact platform Nuer would be at. As he was walking to the fourth gate, he couldn't look away from those couples walking, holding hands, seeming to go travelling together. Would He be able to do that one day with Nuer?

Since they started to date, Syn was going through some real trial with self-doubt and stress about deceiving others. It first started when his neighbor discovered that the "perfect Syn with no sins" was now in love with a man. He didn't talk about it with Nuer, he was too afraid to realize that loving him was the wrong choice.

The fourth gate was crowded with parents waiting for their daughters and sons and Syn could barely find a place to stay, from where he would be able to see the arrival of the train. Which didn't take too long. As soon as the train enter the Station, Syn felt his heart bumping faster than before: He would see him again! Sneaking through the crowd he went as close as he could from the train's exit. Then he saw him. As beautiful as ever, his cute smile making him shine among those colorless people. Yet something wasn't right. Syn squinted his eyes and saw the problem: this random girl hanging to Nuer's arm, laughing while looking all lovey-dovey. Syn felt a little pain in his heart but couldn't put any word on it. He just knew that something was off and that he was feeling uncomfortable about it. Shaking his head to remove any bad thoughts that could divert his rightful judgment, he stayed where he was, waiting for Nuer to come closer.

As Nuer was walking to the exit, he was laughing happily with this girl. Both were walking as if there were the perfect match for each other: two suns among the world, while Syn felt like the moon; eager to get close but so far at the same time. As he was about to walk to him, he suddenly saw a familiar face he so didn't want to see. Wincing from the threatening view, he quickly understood that the guy he saw was no other than his neighbor's son: Win. Which meant that his mom would surely be there. Syn immediately knew he had to go as far as possible as his eyes widened as he was realizing.

Before letting Nuer know that he was here, he run through the crow as fast as possible. His first reflex was to call Kuea. His friend would know what to do even though he didn't know about Syn's lately struggles. As the phone was ringing, Kuea finally answered with a surprised voice:

"Syn? Aren't you with Nuer?"

He realized that he almost forgot about Nuer, but his fear was too great to go back there.

"Come, please. I'll tell you about it."

Making sure not to be seen by Win, he hid in the parking lot between cars and praying to not be caught. In less than five minutes Kuea arrived with his motorcycle. Syn felt thankful that his friend wasn't that far and immediately ran to him and sat behind him.

"Please, let's go. I need to avoid someone."

If Kuea seemed surprised, he didn't let any emotion get through his face until they reached a place far enough from the train station.

"Syn, what is going on? Did you pick a fight with Nuer?" He marked a pause "Did he... hurt you? I swear if he did anything to you, I will end him."

Syn shook his head negatively as he sighed.

"I... You know that Nuer and I are kind of in a relationship, right? You also know that I was the most cherish of my district for being such a religious and rightful person, right? Since Nuer and I are...a thing? My neighbors have been acting weird with me. One of them discovered about it and... Since then, she is spreading rumors about me, making me a sinful person. And at the train station, I saw her son, Win. I couldn't face him nor his mother, that's why I called."

As Syn was talking, Kuea seemed more and more upset about the situation.

"What is wrong with those people? How long has it been going on?"

"Hm... maybe a week after, after the bar? She saw us at the mall."

------------

Authors warning:

Hey, hey!

1) This is the first story I ever wrote (who would have guessed that it would be a FF though)

2) English is not my mother tong so please be aware that I'm doing my best annnd that I have still a long way to go before being fluent.

Thanks for your understanding