A Doubtful Heart

- 9 -

Nuer had been waiting for an hour at their place. He knew that something was wrong and also felt like he was about to lose the one he loved. Why did Syn suddenly talked about the bet?

He had wanted to explain to him everything for so long. But he never had the strength to do so. Like the time he had told him about his parents... At first he wanted to say more about it, but kind of felt that, by saying his sins out loud, he would made them unforgivable. During those moments at his summer camp he would stressed so much that Pran would made him tea to relax.
Sighting he actually called Pran to tell her about the situation.

'' Nuer? ''

'' Pran... I think Syn heard about the bet before I could say anything ... ''

A long silence followed his words.

'' Good luck. Trust me you'll need some. If he does like you, he will listen and try to understand you. But... Not everyone can do so. Especially if their friends are linked to this situation. ''

'' you're not reassuring me. '

"I'm being the most rational as possible so you can think of all of your possibilities.''

Nuer knew she was right and deep down wanted to thank her for that. But he wanted also someone to tell him '' everything is going to be alright ''.

'' how did he know about that? ''

'' I actually don't know. Except from you and my uni friends no one knows.''

'' could some of your uni friend tells your boyfriend about the bet? ''

'' I don't think so. They know how found of him I am. I... They wouldn't...?''

He actually thought about it for a second. Pran wouldn't betrayed him. They've known each other for a short time but ever since had this friendly relationship always based on the respect of each other. Plus, she helped him so far to find solutions to tell Syn about his behavior.

''Thanks Pran, I'll call them''

'' No problem. Tell me about it, I hope you gonna be fine. ''

Immediately afterward he called New. His closest friend would know. New always knew what struggle Nuer had to go through and even more knew about his late struggle to find the right time to tell him about his regretful mistakes.

'' Nuer? ''

'' New, I need your help. I think Syn learned about the bet. Do you know how did he learned about it? ''

Once again a silence answered his sentence.

'' New? Did I lost the signal ? ''

'' I told him. ''

Nuer felt all his blood fleeing from his face. He wanted this answer to be his imagination.

'' why? ''

Was the only answer he could give to his friend.

He couldn't say he felt betrayed, but he did feel hurt. He would have liked New to at least warned him.

'' I don't know. I didn't like him. And I didn't like the person you were becoming I guess. Nuer, you've been more restrained lately. He is refraining you to enjoy freedom. Aren't you afraid that he is just the male boyfriend version of your parents? Furthermore, if you did liked him, wouldn't you have told him way before that, how you played him at first? I don't know Nuer I just... ''

Nuer hung up. He couldn't process. He saw his phone lightning as New was trying to call him back but he didn't answer. He wasn't ready for that.
He immediately tried to call Syn, he had to talk to him. But after two tones, the call went off as if Syn had blocked him. He then tried again to call but in vain.
Panicked he ran too Syn's house.
He never really knew that he would have feel in love with Syn. At first he didn't even consider him : Syn was too rightful and to rigid for him. As New said He did felt that Syn would be the kind to restrain him. But he was wrong. After being next to him for the entire time of the bet he had realized how good Syn was. He was always there for his friend, helping them, guiding them but also ready to hide some truth if it was for them. Nuer couldn't really say when he fell in love but he knew that every moment he did spent with his love one was nowadays engraved in his heart.
This time at the bar, he didn't really think before they kissed. He had just let his guard down as he was feeling the tension between them. It wasn't like a '' sexual'' tension as people would say. It was as if he knew that he was attract to Syn way beyond his own knowledge of himself. It was as if all of his heart needed to be near him, kiss him, be there for him, reassuring him, protecting him... So many things that Syn would do so naturally but never seemed to really received back.
He wanted to see him pout whenever he was about to kiss him, with those cute expressions that only him had the secret.

He had to find him, explain to him, and repair everything.

Syn's house was locked. Nuer tried to catch his breath after his long run, then let himself sat down and looked at his phone :
Three missing call from New
Two texts from New
One call from Pran

He called Pran.

'' Pran, New told him everything. ''

'' what are you going to do?''

'' I don't know... ''

'' I actually thought of something that's why I called you : maybe you should call Syn's friend and explain everything to him. Then let the fate decide for you? ''

'' Kuea? He would tell that to his boyfriend then I would die for sure.''

''It's either you or Syn that will tell him.''

'' I don't know... ''

A sudden '' beep'' made him looked at his phone to see a call from Rain.

'' wait someone's calling. I'll call you back. ''

'' okay, good luck ''

Nuer hung up and answered Rain call.

'' I swear if it's New I'll hang up.''

'' No, it's Rain. ''

'' You heard about it? ''

'' I actually knew that New told Syn about it. Way back then... At the bar. He did told him a little bit about it. I wasn't sure because I was drunk but anyway. I think New did that because he is jealous. ''

'' That is not an excuse to decide for someone's else life ''

'' I know. But, remember when we used to say that our love life would never break our friendship? Well, since you've taken this bet, you grew further from us. At first we thought it was because of your parents and the reputation we had and everything. But then we realized that this bet didn't really go as we thought it would. I think New was hoping to show you that a relationship based on lies are just mean to fail. ''

Nuer stayed silent. He didn't know what to say.

'' Anyway Nuer, I'll try to make it up for you and New but, remember that friend goes beyond boyfriend. ''

Then Rain hung up. Nuer looked dumbfounded at his phone and saw a text from Syn, in the middle of New's ones.