'' Hm... I have to help the temple today. Tomorrow? ''
'' It's too long to wait.''
''You're being cheesy ahah. Your friend will make fun of you.''
'' they are already making fun of me ahah. I'll see you tomorrow then, pray for me too. ''
'' I will, but don't forget to go to the temple too. ''
If there was a thing that Syn loved the most that would surely be the fact that anytime he would pray, every problem he had would just disappear. After every mantra he would feel more and more relieved and relaxed.
-----
Days went by and Syn waited for Nuer to told him what was on his mind and what was going on. He truly believed in what Kuea told him but He would rather wait for the truth than running behind Nuer to make him admit something. Especially since he didn't know what to expect.
At some point he already had imagined the worst : What if Nuer never actually loved him ? What if Nuer dated him just for a bet ? What if...
So many unanswered questoins. And everytime they would meet, never mind how much he really wanted to question him so bad, he would always wait for Nuer's first step.
He did have hope. Like this day when the both of them, walking next the river, talked about Nuer's friends from his previous university. Nuer was, then, in those rare « weak » moment Syn would see him. A Nuer that Syn gladly would like to think that except for him, the rest of the world would never know. As the both of them were walking alongside, Nuer suddenly had stopped. Syn could still remember his hope when the guy he loved started his sentence by « about last night... ». At this exact moment he knew that this last night was the exact same one in their mind.
« About last night... I am sorry if I acted weirdly compared to what you are used to. »
Syn couldn't hide his disappointment so Nuer, misunderstanding Syn's behavior, started explaining himself.
« Actually, I am not usually like that. I swear. »
« Don't swear » had answered Syn before even thinking about it.
« Right. Hm. So. Well, I never told you about my previous university, right ? »
« No, but don't worry Nuer, you don't have to : I don't care about the way you behave as long as you are still respectful and nice to me. »
Nuer couldn't have helped but smile. He had put a light kiss on Syn's lips before answering.
« Let me at least tell you about it. I want to. »
Nodding, Syn had looked at Nuer, accepting the fact that he wouldn't get the answer he wanted for now.
« I used to dislike my uni. For real ahah. Like... I would sleep during class, party the night... »
« But still obtained the best grades » said Syn remembering Nuer's friend comment about it.'
« True ahah! »
« So why did you go to this university then ? »
« My parents hate each other and have never agreed on anything but for once, back then, they had agreed that working in a office would be more beneficial and would make more money than being an engineer. So, they left me with no choice but to get to the university they agreed on together. They didn't really care how I would live my life as long as my grades were good. »
Nuer fake laughed before adding :
« Just like a typical rich son clichée »
« No, it's not a clichée if it made you suffered. So how did you convinced them to change to engineer ? » answered a worried Syn
« New and I were always partying, so we kind of got a reputation. And my parents heard about it. Sooo... they made a deal with me : I got to be an engineer if I'd stopped partying with those « bad influences » or whatever their words were. »
« So that is why you don't party so often ? Because I don't remember you being drunk before. »
« I wouldn't dare : I would rather let my boyfriend think that I am perfect. »
Syn had pouted as an answer. He was feeling shy and happy about Nuer talking about a past he had never heard of. Although he felt somehow sad for Nuer.
« I...»
Nuer had looked at him as he was feeling that Syn was about to say something but his phone rung.
«you mind?»
Syn had shaken his head and then the rest of the day went by.
Sitting on his desk's chair, Syn was still recalling vividly this day when he got a text from New.
Bro when are you going to tell him? He seemed way too in love with you to stop a relationship just because of a stupid bet we made.
Syn frowned a little before answering.
Which bet?
If he thought he could get an answer, that was thinking highly of New who suddenly texted a : omg sorry wrong number ahah.
As if...
Syn was pretty sure this text was for Nuer. Without thinking he called him and after three beep, Nuer finally answered.
« Syn?»
«which bet?»
A long silence took place.
Syn felt shocked by his own words but also by the fact that New talked about a bet. While Nuer, remaining silent, seemed even more lost and shocked that he should.
« How...? When...?»
After a quick prayer for forgiveness Syn finally decided himself to ask and explain directly :
« Actually last time... One of your friend told me about you, who shouldn't have ended with me. And... Now I got a text about you potentially having bet on something. And I wanted to ask you but, Kuea had told me to wait for you to make sure our relationship would last and to built trust and everything. But... It's already been almost a month and you've never even said something to me and...»
Syn realized how desperate he might sound so he stopped, feeling ashamed and also saddened by the situation. Kuea was right, being in love make you suffer at some point.
« talk to me please, I'm so lost and...»
Nuer sighted.
« I'm... Can we meet?»
YOU ARE READING
A Doubtful Heart
Fanfiction" I am going to stay by your side, so if ever someone hurt you and if you ever feel uneasy about something, tell me " After a month, Nuer and Syn finally see each other again. But a month is long when your lack of confidence is making you regret th...
