A Doubtful Heart

- 12 -

'' Maybe, maybe not? What do you think about it? ''

'' I... ''

But he couldn't answer as his phone was ringing.

'' I have to answer, I'm sorry. ''

It was Kuea.

----

The call went pretty fast as Kuea just gave a meeting place for them to talk.
Leaving Win, Syn ran to the place they were supposed to meet. He knew that he shouldn't feel stressed and afraid, but in a way, he felt that if Kuea had learn about anything... Not just learn. If Kuea had discovered the bet and was calling him to told him to break up, then he would break up. He trusted more Kuea than anyone in this world. He had wanted to tell him everything that had happened lately but knew he couldn't, because if he was going to, it would have put Nuer in a worse situation than he was already in.

Arriving in time at their meeting, Syn texted a quick thanks to Win and apologized for his leave.

'' Syn! ''

Kuea looked up to see Kuea. His face was pretty serious as if he was concerned and a little bit upset at the same time.
Now Syn was more stressed than ever.

'' Kuea... You know? ''

'' Hm. But let's take something to drink so we can talk in a quiet place. ''

Syn followed his friend to the café and sat down.

'' You don't want anything to drink? ''

'' No thanks. I just came from a coffee shop actually. ''

'' You were there by yourself? ''

'' No with a friend. ''

Kuea looked at him waiting for him to give the name of the friend. He seemed even more concerned than he would in a normal situation.

'' Win. My son's neighbor. It's a long story. ''

'' Oh okay. I am relieved then. I was afraid you'd say it was one of Nuer's friend. ''

Syn freezed. He couldn't help but to think that now it was the end of his relationship with Nuer. Kuea didn't seem to have appreciated the bet and Syn was already feeling the conversation going in a way he wouldn't like to.

'' Are you alright Syn? ''

'' I'm... ''

'' For how long have you been knowing the whole thing? Was it the reason why you called me so often lately? ''

'' At first no. At first I just wanted to call because I felt that something was wrong. But... Since I have been knowing I never called you. I was too lost for that. It was just yesterday so. ''

Kuea took a breath and pat Syn's head to confort him.

'' Syn... I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you. ''

'' How did you learn about it...? ''

'' Nuer told me. ''

Syn looked suddenly at Kuea, his eyes wide opened.

'' Who? "

'' Yesterday night Nuer called me. He had explained to me everything and apologized. We talked about it and everything is already forgotten. ''

Kuea smiled a little bit in front of Syn's confused look.

'' Actually He called and asked to meet. Luckily Kilen wasn't there... But anyway. He had explained me everything, from the bet to his behavior. He didn't expected me to forgive him but told me that he wanted me to know so I can confort you and be there for you. ''

Syn looked at his hands. He was happy and also not. He couldn't put any words on his emotions. Nuer knew him too well even in this kind of situation. Kuea continued :

'' I wanted to see you to tell you that... personally I don't care : I have one person that I love and I only cared about him. But 'I want you to be the one who make the decision about Nuer. Just you. Not because of me or anything. Only because of the way you feel and how you want things to change. So now, tell me. What are you going to do?''

'' I don't know... I got his friend text, now you are telling me that. I'm even more lost. ''

'' What was the text about? ''

'' A letter I haven't read yet. ''

'' Then go home and read it. Just for you to know. But remember, I'll always be there for you. Whatever is your decision, as long as you are happy, I'm going to support you. ''

Syn smiled brightly at Kuea.
Soon after, he came back home as Kilen called many times Kuea to ask him to come back home too.

Once he was at his place, Syn left his things and went to pray at the temple. Luckily for him he didn't meet anyone that he shouldn't meet.

He stayed there more than an hour, praying for forgiveness, guidance, help... All his emotions were finally free from his heart, relieved by his quiet prayers.

Back at home he took a shower to give him strength and then sat on his bed to read the letter.
His trembling hand clicked on Rain text and he started reading.

Hey Rain!
First letter not the last.
Everything have been going well there, I met a super funny girl, we are getting along pretty well. New, you would have loved her ahah. But she might soon have enough of me. It hasn't even been a week and I'm talking to her without any break about Syn. I actually told her about the bet ; to have a different perspective. She recommended me to tell him directly. But I know you guys won't agree.
I just don't know what to do. I miss him and also I feel so bad right now about my behavior. I feel like he is worth a better person than me. And knowing that because of my behavior I might lose him? I feel even more powerless.
I actually thought about writing him a letter but he told me that he'd rather not receive any letter to avoid questions from his family.
See? It is just a matter of time until I disappear from his life. Maybe I should just follow your advice and stay quiet? This way he would never know, past would be past...
Pran is reading my letter behind my back...she just smacked me. She will kill me for sure. But actually she's right. If I don't tell him I would die of guilt.
But it's not like there is a good way for me to explain that.
Should I just say '' By the way I was an idiot, here's the reason why I'm a perfect sin? ''
But anyway, enough of me being an idiot. At least you can admire my progress in English. I've been studying hard so I won't have to come back next year.

See you soon guys,

Nuer.

Syn closed his eyes and let himself lay on his bed. The day was already being long and tomorrow he would have to go to class and see Him again. Maybe sleeping was the best idea.
A notification made him open his eyes though.

A text from NUER