Every Autumn Fall (Youthful Series 1)

Chapter 5: Regretful Night

October

"What do you mean physical? Like kissing?!" Lexi overly reacted to her expression, like she was in shock and teasing me at the same time.

"No!" I defended. Sinimulan kong ipiniliwanag kay Lexi at Lara ang tungkol sa nangyari kagabi. Napag-isipan namin ni Eli na sabihin ito sa kanila. Hindi namin kasabay ngayon na kumain sina Zee at Sol. Sa pagkakaalam ko din, may bagong kilalang friend si Sol na volleyball player at transferry.

"Girl, straight si Cael, no hope!" Lexi rolled her eyes, "plus she even had a girlfriend last last year, nagbreak ata sila kasi nagtransfer yung girl," she explains it the way how she quickly spread news in the campus.

She started ranting again about how she hates straight guys. I don't blame him though, most of the men are really toxic and chaotic. I really felt bad for what happened to her last year with the bullies and scandals. Because of that, even Zee, the only straight guy in our group, became overly protective of us. Lexi continues interrogating me about Cael, "Unless-"

"Friend lang talaga kami," pagpipigil ko. I know that Cael is straight, and I expect nothing more of it. But I most of the time, I really overthink about the idea that everything of this is more that what friends does. And that aches me for a little. "Pupunta kami mamayang gabi sa beach," I said. Cael invited me last week to hang-out with him in the beach. Matagal na rin simula nang makapunta ako ng beach sa kagabi kaya pumayag na rin ako.

"See, what if my meaning pala?" Lara interrupts. Isa pa 'tong overthinker din katulad ko. "Well, just guard your heart and don't get too attached," pag-uulit niya. We all know that as part of the queer community and based on what my friends already experienced, falling in love with straight guys would be the greatest treachery we can ever commit for ourselves.

Hindi ko kasabay na umuwi si Cael dahil mukhang matatagalan pa raw siya kaya nauna na ako. Kasama ko naman sa apartment si Eli, may gusto daw siyang try na lutuin kaya ipapatikim niya rin sa akin. Naglinis muna ako ng kuwarto habang naghahanda na si Eli sa pagluto. Gagawa na lang din ako ng assignment ko habang pinapanuod na nagluluto si Eli. Naalintana kaming dalawa ng may kumatok sa pintuan ko. Wala naman kaming inaasahan pa na darating.

"Masama bang dumalaw dito?" Timothy showed up without no signal that he was coming. May dala siyang isang box ng pizza. Binati niya naman si Eli habang abala pa rin ito sa pagluluto. "Tama lang pala ang dating ko! Ano niluluto mo?" tanong niya sabay silip sa lutuan.

Sobrang daming niluto ni Eli na halos aabot pa ito ng ilang araw kung ilalagay ko sa refrigerator. Naglagay din siya ng mga dish na pwede kong iluto kapag nagutom ako. Mahilig talaga na mag-iwan ng mga stock foods si Eli sa refrigerator ko. Kinakain ko naman ito dahil ayoko namang masayangan siya sa effort ng pagluluto niya.

Nagkuwentuhan lang kami ni Tim pagkatapos ng hapunan. He is also busy knitting as he rests in my bed. "Hindi ka ba uuwi?" tanong ni Eli sa kaniya. It turns out that Tim has his motorcycle so he can travel back to other town. Hindi na rin sila nagtagal dito kasi nagmamadali na rin akong magbihis dahil sa pupuntahan namin ni Cael.

"Mauvi, mag-iingat kayo," bilin ni Eli bago sila umalis. Inihatid na lang ni Timothy si Eli bago pa man siya umuwi. Nagshower na rin ako pagkaalis nila.