✓ | The Altered Version (Fate's Transgression Series, #2) [UNDER REVISION]

TAV 24: Her Past

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR: Her Past

Clarinette

I always hate people whenever they look at me with disgust. As if, I was the ugliest or preferably, the scariest entity in Arcadia. Hindi ko naman kasalanan kung bakit ako pinanganak na ganito: to be born with a curse.

My father blamed me for the death of my mother, and I grew up carrying that burden. Kahit matagal ng itinigil ni Ama ang pangungutya niya sa akin, nakikita ko pa din sa kanyang mga mata ang galit.

Despite my white features, I still resemble my late mother. Pareho kami ng hugis ng mukha, ng ilong, mata, at kilay. Kung hindi lang ako pinanganak na kulay puti ang buong anyo, isa akong napakagandang replika ng aking Ina.

I also grew up being deprived of the real world. I was homeschooled which made me become a bookworm and a loner. Though, I love the peace brought by loneliness, and yet it didn't stop feeding my curiosity.

Pumupuslit ako minsan at gumagala sa sentro. Dahil din do'n, nagkaroon ako ng pag-asa na maging malaya. I was able to supplement my curiosity by breaking the law, which caused my father's rage to skyrocket upon hearing my violation.

He wouldn't call it 'locked up' because I can still roam the corners of the residence. But for me, this entire property is my prison and I was held captive by my own bloodline.

I was forced to follow insane rules that were subject as protection for my identity, but they were suffocating. All these years, I was an invisible young lady walking in the mansions, scaring the people, being bullied, and all those hurtful words I heard everyday.

I grew tired of it all. The more I suppressed, the more I felt numb about everything. I don't want to be caged in this life like an animal. I wanted to be free from loathe, from disgust, and from those people who trapped me into an idea that I am a walking cursed being— that I shouldn't live.

Three years back before Dimitri fell, I overheard my father's conversation with the Ministry of Economics that he was preparing a dowry. I was thinking it would be Claudia who will be betrothed, since my two older brothers already have their eyes on some noble women.

Hindi ko rin naman iniisip na ako, dahil una sa lahat, may limang taon pa ako bago makatungtong sa tamang edad ng pagkakasal. Pangalawa, I don't think my own father would put his attention on the youngest Dimitri since he never considered me as his.

But, I was wrong.

Father called me into his chamber. Nagtaka pa ako dahil bigla siyang umamo. Nakangiti niya akong sinalubong at niyakap bago niya ako dinala sa silid kung saan palagian nagpi-play si Mommy ng piano. I never witnessed my Mother's amazing piano skills since she died of childbirth.

At first, I was shocked with the sudden changes and was glad that finally, father had acknowledged me. But, I was wrong, again.

He told me that I will be engaged with the Duke of Silverstein, and said not to worry about everything since it was all taken care of. Sinabi niya din na hindi naman daw dadalaw ang Duke hangga't hindi darating ang takdang araw ng aking tamang edad para sa pagpapakasal.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. I was disappointed because Father made me feel warmth but later killed the fire before it completely gave me heat. I didn't opposed, for I was afraid that he would return his evil facade if I'd say no.

For three years, I stayed silent with my plea. I swallowed my emotions until I no longer felt like I was living. I had given up hope and just wished to get out in this living hell even if it means I had to be a Silverstein, then be it.