Your Addiction, Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

The past returns

 "Y/N? Is that really you?" A familiar voice right next to me.

There were sounds of people talking, and the bar was now overcrowded. At first, I didn't quite hear the man trying to get my attention, but the moment he grabbed my hand, I turned around, ready to defend myself.

"It is really you" As he talked I felt the smell of alcohol. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder as if to greet me, but I immediately pushed it away.

I looked at the guy, dark memories flooding my head. I tried pretending not to recognize him but my attempt to look confused didn't work. He obviously was drunk, meaning he would have had no shame in touching me.

"It is me, Isaac, your ex-boyfriend. Remember?"

...

The atmosphere at the bar was laid-back and relaxed. Just a few people sitting, drinking, and watching news on TV.

That was one of the places where I would go after not being able to stand my family. Even though I was quite young, the owner knew the situation in my family. Sometimes he would get me a free beer or just give me some money for lunch. Later in life, he offered me a job here to work as a barista. I agreed and until the day I ran away, I spent my evenings here, talking to random men and listening to their life stories. He was like a dad figure to me, but I never accepted his love, though it felt comforting knowing that there was someone who cared about me. He was the one who suggested joining the army - the only way to try to forget about my past.

Coming back here after so many years hit me right in the feels. Joseph was his name, a generous man who had a loving wife and two daughters. I had a few images in my head of him. He always had a small mustache, and his deep blue eyes would scan everyone who walked in there. At least that was how I remembered him.

"Have you ever been here?" I asked Simon as we entered the bar, wondering if he also knew the owner.

"Once, maybe twice, I wasn't into spending my time around other people" He murmured as he analyzed every single man, noticing everyone staring at us, but especially at me.

As we took off our jackets, I started feeling uneasy, but maybe because I was at the center of attention. Then we sat at the bar, waiting for our orders to be taken.

"What can I get for you?" I was pretty sure she was one of his daughters who asked us. Couldn't decide if I wanted her to recognize me or not.

"Some whiskey, please" I ordered.

I looked around us to get a better understanding of our surroundings. I noticed another couple sitting quite far away from us, their heads close together as they whispered secrets. It seemed that they were completely unaware of the world around them, lost in their little bubble of love. A couple of guys were relaxing by the window as they clinked their glasses together, toasting to good memories. Some old lonely man was muttering to himself, staring off into space, lost in thought.

"I used to work here, the owner, Joseph, was my very close friend" I glanced at Simon, the soft lighting of the bar surrounding us.

The stools at the bar were old and with chipped paint. Everywhere I looked there were same posters, rows of bottles on shelves right in front of us, same tables, same mood.

"Did you like it here?"

"Well, it was better than staying at home with my father and brother" I explained.

"What was your family like?" He seemed genuinely interested in knowing me better.

"After my mother's death" I stopped for a second before continuing "Well, she actually killed herself when I was just a kid. My father became an alcoholic. He would beat me up believing I was the main reason she did what she did. Thank God that son of a bitch is no longer alive" I took a sip of whiskey and then told him the truth "I slit his throat. After what he did to me, that was the only right decision left to make. My brother was never there for me, even though we still shared some happy moments. Nobody in town liked my father, and no one really bothered to find out what happened to him" Talking about my past felt weird, but at the same time, it felt relieving to finally get it off my chest.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Y/N. Once again, I'm sorry about that night" It hurt my heart to know Simon still blamed himself for what he did to my brother.

"I should thank you, Simon. Sebastian deserved that as much as my father did. Yes, his death affected me in some way, but I still don't know what exactly has changed" My voice started shaking but I still managed to keep my emotions "I should thank you, Simon, because I wouldn't have had enough guts to kill him on my own. You helped me more than you can imagine" Another sip of whiskey, feeling the warmth in my cheeks.

After that, a long pause followed. We both continued watching TV, trying to avoid the fact that soon we would need to go back to Price. I was sure I would miss those days, having sex every day at any time. Seeing Simon being so soft around me, I knew all of this would come to an end eventually.

Goddammit, that man was obsessed with me, but I couldn't complain since I enjoyed it.

"Any news from Soap?" I tried to break the silence.

"Spending his time in Hawaii, couldn't expect much from him" He shook his head in disappointment and then finally took a sip of whiskey.

"Do you drink this kind of shit?" He groaned slightly as the alcohol hit his tongue.

"Get used to it. It is my favorite one" I winked at him, moments later noticing him taking a second, larger sip.

"Well, I need to go to the restroom. I will be back in a bit" I informed him, feeling his eyes following me until I disappeared.

I stayed in the restroom for quite a while. Wasn't sure how I was feeling about this whole situation of coming back to my military life and leaving the one I wished to have. Only a few days were left, meaning the horrors and shadows of the past would once again follow me at every step.

In one of the stalls, I spent my time smoking a cigarette, trying to calm myself down. Life finally seemed to be moving at a steady pace and that's why for the past few weeks I was thinking of leaving Task 1-4-1 together with Simon. But I was too scared to tell him about that plan, thinking we would only end up arguing. Even worse, parting ways. Keeping this secret to myself, I felt it eating me up from the inside. Every single day. But no matter how much I dreamt about it, I couldn't think of a way I would get money to survive this cruel world. I had nothing, not even a simple apartment. And that was why I needed Simon's help. But I just couldn't find the courage.

After a while, I realized that Simon was probably starting to worry. I splashed some cold tap sink water on my face, feeling refreshed and ready to mask my true feelings.

And as I left the restroom, someone nearby called me by my name. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it since I was sure it wasn't me who the guy was looking for. But I was wrong.

...

"Don't you dare touch me" I tried to appear as aggressive as possible.

"Or what?" The smell of alcohol, and his red eyes, I knew this wouldn't end well.

"You don't want to find out"

"Are you threatening me?"

"I don't make threats, I make guarantees" I could feel the tension building up in the air "Now, leave me alone"

I was frustrated but I didn't want Simon to know about this part of my past. So when I got back to him I tried to act as if nothing had happened.

"Everything okay, love?" He asked but I was so focused on my thoughts I didn't even hear him say that.

"Y/N?" He put his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. He could tell that something was wrong.

"Umh.. yeah, I'm fine just feeling a bit dizzy. Can we get back home?" I knew he would agree.

And he did. Without a doubt, he paid for our drinks and was ready to take care of me. But as we crossed the street, Isaac left the bar and started shouting my name.

"Hey, you slut, Y/N, another man you got there?" Struggling to walk, Isaac started approaching us.

Simon was confused at first, but he was ready to defend me. He got in front of me, his whole body shielding me.