Behind Every Man (COMPLETED)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Do you need something?" tanong ko kay Rosie nang mahuli ko siyang nakatitig sa akin. I was in no mood to humor her. I was still in a battle against myself. I knew I should confirm the procedure already... but for some reason ay hindi ko magawa. I couldn't sleep because I was riddled with guilt.

It wasn't as if hindi ko bibigyan ng anak si Archie—it's just that I couldn't carry it myself. But of course Archie would think differently. Kaya kahit na gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ay hindi ko magawa. It would just open a whole can of worms and we didn't have time for that. We had far more important things to think about.

Isa pa 'tong si Rosie.

I didn't need her creating problems.

"So, why are you staring?" I asked.

She was useful in the beginning dahil wala pa namang napapatunayan si Archie. She's a nice girl... or so did Archie say. But I was afraid that she's already reached the end of her usefulness. She's not worth all the headache. Mabuti sana kung ako lang ang nakakapansin ng crush niya kay Archie. If I, someone who barely gives her any though, managed to notice her silly crush, iyong iba pa kaya na lagi niyang katrabaho? Besides, she's always around Archie. I didn't want any weird rumors flying around.

Yes.

She's got to go.

"Wala naman po," she replied.

I didn't bother to respond anymore. I tried to focus my attention on what I was doing, but who was I kidding? I needed to tell my doctor to go on with the procedure. That's all I needed to do. To give the go signal. It's so easy... but why couldn't I do it? Other women in this country needed to go to other countries to get this done. All I needed to do was to say yes.

Kaya bakit ako nahihirapan?

"Cheryl," I called.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Did you hear from Mr. Sy's secretary?"

"None as of the moment."

I briefly closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew I should've just went on the meeting with him. I knew that I should've prioritized that instead of Archie's fragile ego. He could've been one of our biggest donor—and now, he's not returning our call. And I knew that I needed to give Abuela my answer already.

Senate or Congress?

This question's haunting me even in my sleep.

"Ma'am?"

"What?" I replied, sounding pissed because I was. I was in no mood to go on meetings today. I had no energy to pretend in front of people. I didn't even think that this was possible. Growing up, I was taught on how to appear in front of the crowd—always smile; never roll your eyes. It was almost second nature. Sometimes, I didn't even notice it. Pero ngayon? Wala akong lakas magpanggap.

"Should I schedule your appointment?" she asked. She didn't even need to specify.

Hindi ako nakasagot.

"I still have time," I said.

"Okay, Ma'am."

"I'll do it," I continued. She wasn't even trying to argue with me. Why was I doing this? Why couldn't I just get this over with para lang matapos na? Because I can never have a decent conversation with Archie with this hanging over my head. Lagi akong kinakabahan na baka malaman niya.

I should do it.

As soon as possible.

Yes.

That's what I should do.