Apocalyptic Love

I'm Scared Too

When I woke up it was still dark outside, the only light in the room shining from a small lantern on the table by the window. The space next to me once filled with Carter's presence was now empty, but I saw his outline sitting on a chair, gazing out the window in thought.

Slowly I walked over to him and leaned against the window, his face was still, but his eyes were shimmering as a lone tear glided down his cheek. I leaned closer to him and used my thumb to swipe the moisture but still, he didn't move.

"You thinking about your family?" My voice was soft, his mouth shaking as he tried to hold back more tears. I'd never seen him like this, the boy was always cold and hid his emotion.

"I don't want to talk about it".

"Why don't you let anyone in" I searched his eyes for any sign of hope but all that plagued him was hurt "What's the point in being alive if you don't live.. this world is dangerous and we loose people, but we are both here. Alive".

Anger stirred in him as I dug deeper, I could tell by the way his knuckles were turning white as he clenched his fists in his lap. But this was the only way to get through to him, the only way you get through your fear is by reliving it and work through the pain instead of keeping it inside.

"Don't you think I know that" Carter pointed a finger to me, his hand trembling under his hold "Every time I let someone in, they leave, or they die. I watched my sister get.." he sucked in a harsh breath "She got ripped from my arms, screaming for me to save her. My dad died trying to protect me when it should have been the other way round. I can't take anymore loss Kate".

Carter was still sitting and the only thing I could think to do was hold him, my hands drifted into his hair, pulling his head towards me. His arms wrapping around me unexpectedly and his head resting against my chest as he let his tears free.

"I get it. I really do Carter" My hands inched through his hair, trying to calm his shaking body. He looked up to me with his beautiful brown eyes, holding onto me as my thumb swiped another tear slipping down his face "As long as you never forget them it's not a loss, you miss them, but they will always be with you as long as you are alive" He looked speechless "They wouldn't want you to be alone and you know that".

I thought about my family every passing day, the words my mother marked me with before I left them.

"I want to let you in" Carter's hands rested on the small of my lower back "Since the moment I met you, but every time I try I imagine losing you and I don't think I could survive that. I can't protect you, I couldn't protect them". He tried turning his head back down, but I caught him and rested my finger below his stubble, forcing him to meet my stare.

"I don't need you to protect me Carter. If you haven't noticed, I'm extremely capable of doing that myself" a small laugh slipped my lips as his turned up slightly. The first genuine smile I think I'd seen from him "I don't want to rely on you to protect me, I just want you to be you. You never have to hide your emotions from me".

"I can do that" Carter's deep voice whispered.

"What was that" I tilted my head with a huge smile etched into my face.

Carter stood up, his mere height towering mine as he pulled me closer. His shaky hands rested on the back of my neck, sending shivers through my whole being. I looked into his intense hazel eyes as he looked back, his gaze travelling from my eyes to my lips as he slowly pushed forward.

The moment his lips pressed against mine, I melted into his touch, savouring his gentle swipes each time we connected. My hands found his cheeks as he deepened the kiss, meeting me with the same desperate urgency. Our lips moulded as if we were made for each other, our movements in sync as we fell deep into the moment.

When we finally pulled away to catch our breath, I couldn't take my eyes of his, his flushed pink lips, the slight blush creeping across his cheeks and the way his hands were still latched onto me. I could do this forever.

"You need sleep too" I brushed my fingers along the dark circles, shadowing his eyes. I pulled him back over to the bed, letting his body mould with mine as he rested his head between my neck and his arms wrapped around my waist.

My hands worked through his short hair as I stared at him wrapped around me, a smile plastered on my face, but hidden underneath was worry. "I'm scared too" He looked up to me confused "This world takes so much; it took everything from me, and I don't want it to take you too".

Carter reached up brushing his lips against mine once more, but this time was gentle. His lips reassuring mine each time our skin brushed against each other before he pulled away again, holding me closer than before. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise".

The man fell into slumber in an instant, the only sound filling the room was his soft snores. But I couldn't close my eyes; my mind was drifting over the events of tonight. I expected my outburst to blow up in my face, never did I expect he would kiss me, but all I could do was smile.

Then my thoughts wandered back to my uncle, he was still alive I could feel it. But in a world with no way to contact each other, I may as well be looking for a needle in a haystack.

But fate brought us back together once and all I could do was hope that my luck hadn't ran out.

Edited