Friends

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All I wanted to do was open the door and sink into the comfort of Carter's arms, but I couldn't do that. My mind was running overtime, replaying every single moment that had occurred the past few weeks and I couldn't take it anymore. Each day I spent watching my boys barely getting by because I ruined our home, and the guilt was eating away at me.

My feet were moving faster than I anticipated and I didn't know where I was going, I just ran. Tears cooling my cheeks as the harsh wind scraped my face, each step, each moment I got further away from them my emotions built up until I couldn't hold them, and my knees sunk into the damp soil of the forest.

A harsh scream sounded, releasing all my emotions into the air to be carried with the wind. I knew I was attracting the monsters to me, but for once I didn't care, I wanted to stop feeling. I wanted it all to stop hurting.

It didn't take long until growls surrounded me, at least a dozen corpses circling my guilt-ridden body.

I saw red and everything went dark. Each time my knife sliced through rotten skulls I saw each horrid memory surfacing. My fathers return, Andy's body face down on the concrete, the masked men taking us, and it didn't stop until I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by a blood bath, fallen monsters executed across the grass around me. I was covered head to toe by blood and gore, but I felt lighter, and I hated the feeling.

Two months later..

Looking in the mirror I was a ghost, I wasn't the same person. I was a mere reflection of myself and all I wanted to do was go back to being the carefree girl who had loving parents and an easy life.

For weeks I'd been roaming with no destination, I was doing the exact opposite of what I told Carter to do, I was just surviving.

I didn't know if Carter and my uncle were looking for me, my best guess would be yes, but I was nowhere near ready to face them yet. I knew me leaving would break them and they probably thought I was dead, but this was a journey I needed to do on my own and the only way I could survive is figure out who I am now in this retched world.

The arrow pendant around my neck rolled between my fingers; It was a reminder of the last time I was truly happy and when I was ignoring the harsh reality of this world.

My hair was shoulder length now, after the dead had me trapped with their bony fingers wrapped around my locks I dismembered it from myself.

"Whoever is in there, come out slowly" I was stood in toilets of a small gas station when a voice sounded from the other side of the door, the voice was dainty like a woman. I hadn't had a run in with any living since I'd been alone and honestly, I liked it that way. "Now".

Pulling my bandana across my mouth I stepped out slowly, keeping one hand latched to the knife in my combat belt. There stood a woman roughly the same height as me, wearing all black and a hood covering the majority of her features. The only thing I could notice was a baseball bat wrapped around her shaky grip and a pistol tucked into the waistband of her jeans.

"I don't want no trouble, I'll just be on my way" I harshly spoke before heading towards the door; the girl wasn't violent, I could tell by the way she held herself against a weak stand.

"You're the first person I've seen in months" her weapon was laid to her side in an act of surrender as she tried following me to the door. "Please.. nobody should be alone anymore, and I don't think you are a bad person".

My anger boiled at her saying I was a good person and before I knew it, I had her pinned against the wall with my knife against her jugular "You don't know what kind of person I am" I spat, but as the light reached the windows I saw her features more clearly.

Dark hair past her shoulders, pale skin under her blushed cheeks and the same blue eye's I'd seen my whole childhood. "Mel?" my voice was quivering as I looked at the girl I knew.

"Katie?" she cried pulling the bandana from my face, her hands instantly wrapping around me as she sobbed into my shoulder. But I stood still, numb under her embrace.

"Where is your mum and dad? Ashley?" I looked to her face, but the answer was obvious when her tears grew heavier.

We sat against the wall of the gas station and for the first time in months I was reliving what had happened. Everything from my uncle and Carter to my dad, all while Mel sat silently and listened. She knew my dad for most of her life and just like me, she was struck with disbelief of the man he turned into.

"I'm so sorry Katie" her small hand latched around me and for a passing moment, I felt lighter, lighter than I had in months. "Matt and Carter, they are still out there?" I nodded "Why aren't you with them?".

This was a question I hadn't known how to answer, truthfully I didn't know. I thought I needed time alone to heal, but I wasn't healing. I was in a vicious cycle of tormenting myself with grief "I left, didn't tell them I was going".

"You are still the same Katie you know" Mel smile slightly under the harsh sunlight "You were always there for everyone else when they needed you, but you never let them in when you were in pain" the girl was right "I missed you".

"I missed you too".

Melanie gave me hope, she was still the bright person I left that day when the broadcast went out and I knew in that moment, I needed to find my family.

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