Apocalyptic Love

Jealousy

Two weeks Carter had distanced himself from me, and each minute of it was heartbreaking. Andrew told me to give him time and that is what I did, but each moment away from him I felt him slowly slipping further. I tried to make small conversations with him, but all I'd get back were blunt replies. He took more shifts and moved to another classroom alone, every night was a repetitive cycle.

I threw on the same dark jeans and tank top as yesterday, my hair in a messy bun highlighting the dark circles under my eyes. I knew I looked like shit, but honestly, I didn't care, and I just wanted the day to be over with.

I volunteered with Matt to go looting at a small local clinic, the infirmary was running low and supplies, all I knew was I needed to get out of this prison.

"I'll be by the car" I yelled through my uncle's room which was next to mine. Matt's bullet wound had almost healed, but the doctor said to take it easy, he never really understood the meaning of easy.

Walking through the courtyard I kept my head down, only sending a fake smiled to the people my eyes accidently latched to. The walk was silent as I reached the back of the gymnasium carpark, my hands fiddling with the small blade attached to my waist.

My throat caught in my chest when I noticed him, the handsome brunette standing guard at the gate. His back was facing me, but I knew it was him – id know him anywhere. His hair was slightly longer and messier, while he still wore his normal dark clothes. I attempted to walk unnoticed, but I manged to trip over the curb beside the car. "Shit" The curse slipped my lips when I noticed his head turning, his eyes wandering for a few seconds before he turned back around.

It hurt knowing that everything we went through to get here was for nothing, we found this place, but I lost him in the process. Each night lost in thought I realised he was right, I needed to stop putting myself in situations where my life was at risk; but that was easier said than done. My whole life I'd put others needs before my own and to me it was like a natural instinct.

The man was like a magnet to me, before I knew it my feet started to walk towards him, but before I could get remotely close I heard my uncle's footsteps. Swiftly he threw me the car keys, causing Carter to look round again. Matt started teaching me to drive the moment he was out of the infirmary, apparently me crashing was enough motivation to start lessons.

"Are you going to tell me why you two are avoiding each other like the plague" Matt smirked as if he knew why, but I wasn't going to tell him.

"Nope" I stopped the car at the gates while Carter pulled them open. Matt held his palm out to halt the car before sticking his head out the window and calling the boy over. My head fell back against the headrest and a groan slipped my throat.

"What's up Matt" Carter lent down to the window, avoiding my gaze as he spoke to my uncle.

"Andrew told me to give you these" he pulled out a box of ammunition before sending me a childish smirk.

"Oh. Thanks, be safe out there" His hazel eyes finally synced with mine as the words left his lips, but I stayed quiet slowly pulling the car out of the lot.

My uncle was chuckling to himself, so I pushed my foot down harshly on the break, sending him forward as his head collided with the dash. He held his forehead with a small groan, and I laughed to myself "That's what you get for being an asshole".

"Language" Matt pointed his finger in my direction sternly "Just drive".

The drive wasn't long, and Matt moaned the whole journey about the small bump on his head, so much that I thought about doing it again just to knock him out. The small clinic looked empty; we planned that Matt would go in while I stayed watch outside. His past in the army meant he knew more about what medicine we would need than I did, my role was to make sure a herd didn't roll through and trap us inside the small building.

My body was leant against the thick stone sign for the clinic as I twirled my knife around my finger, my eyes trailing the perimeter. Three corpses appeared from the side of the building, their snarls growing louder as they limped their frail bodies towards me.

My knife flew through the air with the pent-up anger building inside me, the blade landing directing through the first's eye. I marched over to its body, using the weight of my boot over its face while I pulled the knife out. The second one, I slammed the same knife through the side of its head, just above its head as it dropped to the concrete with a disturbing bang.

Each kill, I felt lighter. The anger releasing through their deaths, and I didn't like the feeling, but I carried on.

The last one reached me, but I used my last strength to kick its chest until its spine crashed against the floor. I knelt next to the monster, my palm against its chest while I repeatedly slammed my knife through its skull until all that was left was a pile of carnage.

When I turned around covered in guts Matt was standing next to the car, his face a mixture of horror and worry.

"Just talk to him" Matt ordered as we climbed back into the car, but I rolled my eyes at him "Look. I don't know what happened between you guys but its not worth this, you're both angry I get that, but we don't know how much time we have so don't waste it".

Matt's words played on repeat in my mind the whole way home; I wanted to talk to Carter, but I don't think I could handle him walking away again or pulling back further. All I know is I wanted him back, each day there was an emptiness following me where he should have been.

We made it back home in no time. While Matt dropped the supplies to the infirmary, my feet carried me through the dim courtyard looking for one boy in particular. I scanned the vast majority of the field until my eyes settled on him, he was sat at one of the benches by the tents. Opposite him was a blonde woman with short locks and a petite figure. They were lost in conversation for a while, talking between each other until he let out a small laugh and my jealousy grew.

I hadn't realised I was staring until his eyes landed on mine. My pace was faster than I expected as I headed back to my room, holding the dam of tears that was about to crumble. The door was slammed behind me as I let myself settle in the darkness of my own company.

It could have been nothing. But Carter took weeks to even have a conversation with me, and my mind didn't settle on the simple answer.

 Edited