After the scene in the club we didn't stay long. Jeongin and Seungmin drank a little too deeply and are quite tipsy. We had to hold them the whole way to the apartment because otherwise they would have stopped laughing. "I'll take them both upstairs." I nod to Changbin and look around the living room. No sign of Chan being here. "Maybe you should knock on his door. He might be in his room." Changbin looks at me worriedly as I look at my phone and see that my last message still hasn't been delivered. "He's a big boy. Nothing will happen to him." Seungmin and Jeongin giggle to themselves and have no idea what's going on. Changbin goes upstairs with the two of them. The others are already in their rooms. I stay in the living room for a while until I hear Changbin's door close. I walk up with weak knees and stand in front of Chan's door. There is no answer to my knock. "Chan?" I listen, but it remains silent. "Christopher..." My hand is already ready to knock again, but I lose courage and lower it again. It's already 2 a.m. on my watch. I should go home and hope everything is okay. I'm just turning to leave when Chan's door opens. He looks at me seriously, probably waiting for an explanation. "Is everything okay? I was worried..." "We should go for a walk." He still looks at me so seriously and my heart is racing. This time out of fear of what might have ruined things between us tonight. I just nod and we go down together. We just walk side by side in silence for a while. There are a hundred questions swirling in my head, but none of them want to be asked. Every time I get the courage to say something, I let it go. It's a beautiful night with clear skies. I look up and look at the stars. The streets are empty and I feel like my heartbeat is the only thing that can be heard. At some point Chan breaks the silence. "Sarah..." The way he says my name breaks something inside me. These types of conversations never end well. Will he tell me I can't work for the band anymore? That tonight showed that I just don't belong here and that there are only problems because of me? But there's nothing that can make it complicated. Or does it? Is there something there? My heart is beating faster and faster and I would like to hide in my bed at home and never come out again. I don't want this conversation. I want to turn back time to when we walked into the club and he took my hand. My mind keeps telling me that he's about to say things I don't want to hear and then I'll... "I'm sorry." I did not expect that. Confused, I stop and look at him. He also stopped and turned to me. "Did you...just apologize? For what?" Embarrassed, he has put his hands in his trouser pockets and is visibly searching for the right words. "My behavior today...I have no right to do something like that." "Something like that? You tried to protect me from that guy. That's nothing bad." "You had fun. And I ruined the evening." "Fun..." I laugh briefly. "I didn't have any fun with that guy. He was way too pushy." "But if it hadn't been him then-" "Then I would have danced with him. Nothing more." I slowly walk towards Chan, who looks embarrassed at the floor. "Before...THAT happened, I was looking around for you." Chan's head jerks up and our eyes meet. "I was wondering why you didn't dance with me. Instead of that guy." “I wanted that,” he comes towards me. "I'm sorry. Everything. I shouldn't have just disappeared either. But I was so..." "Angry? That's ok. But you not responding to my messages...I was worried Chan!" "I know. I'm sorry about that too." He rubs his face with his hands. "Can we just forget tonight and carry on as if it never happened?" "But I don't want to forget the evening." Chan looks at me questioningly. He is now directly opposite me and I look up at him. "At least not everything. I'd really like to forget that guy. But until then...it was a nice evening." I smile encouragingly at him. "You're right. Ok, let's not forget everything. Do we want to walk a little further?" I nod and Chan grabs my hand. I lean lightly against him as I run. It's really fresh and I'm shaking a little. He notices this and puts both of our hands in his jacket pocket, where our fingers intertwine. After walking a bit and arriving at a bench by the river, we sit down and look at the city. "Thanks for not being mad at me." "How could I? Just promise me never to ignore my texts again. No matter how mad YOU are." "I wasn't mad. I was disappointed. In myself. I just needed a little time to myself. But I hope you had a little fun afterwards and I didn't spoil everything for you." "Well, we danced a little more. Until Seungmin and Jeongin had one too many drinks." "Ah yes. I heard them laughing when they were in their room. Like little children who secretly stay awake past bedtime." Chan laughs and I'm glad that everything seems to be okay again. He looks at the river and continues to smile to himself. Without thinking much about it, I take out my phone and take a photo of him.
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“What are you going to do with that?” "Nothing. I wanted to capture the beautiful moment," I wink at him, making him grin. He puts an arm around me and pulls me closer to him. Happy that things are back to the way they were before, I lay my head on his shoulder. "I should get home soon. It's getting late." "Or you can stay the night. I bet the boys will be happy if you have breakfast with us tomorrow." I start to grin in silence. Chan leans his head against mine and we look in silence at the city on the other side of the river, which is still brightly lit.
