𝖱౿ᑯ ᥣꪱᜒ𝗀𝗁𝗍ડ » 𝖡ɑ𐓣𝗀 𝖢𝗁ɑ𐓣

18

It rings at the door. Chan stands in front of it with several bags and I let him in. "Are you planning on cooking for more than the two of us?" "Haha no. But I didn't just want to cook something small. As an excuse, it should be something more elaborate, right?" He places the bags in the kitchen and begins to unpack the ingredients. "That's really sweet of you, but you don't have to go to such lengths. I accept the apology." "But I want to." Chan prepares the food little by little and I watch him. He didn't want any help from me, even though I asked several times. What a gentleman. "Is it always going to be like this in the future? We meet secretly in my apartment?" "For now. Only if it's okay with you. By the way, the boys got wind of it. Now of course they want to come visit you too." "This is going to be a madhouse..." We both start laughing and finally everything feels normal between us again. Once again. I realize how often obstacles have been put in our way in such a short time. Either by ourselves or others. I hope this was the last time here. The food smells incredibly good and I'm a little amazed at how good Chan can cook. He divides the food into two plates and hands one to me. "Wow. That looks really good." "And tastes just as good!" "We will see." I wink at him and try it. "Ok, you were right. This tastes heavenly." As we sit opposite each other and eat, I notice that Chan becomes more and more calm. He eats his food with his eyes downcast and doesn't say a word. As I look at him, I realize why. "Chan? Are you okay?" Is he crying? I put down my half-empty plate, stand up and sit on the chair next to him. "Hey, what's up?" He just shakes his head and doesn't look at me. I slowly take the plate from him and that Cutlery out of hand. He allows it without protest. "I'm so sorry for everything..." "What do you think?" "The situations I put you in and how I behaved towards you over and over again. You almost lost your job because of me. You still could. And all I do is ignore you or be unfair to you. " "Chan..." "I'm so incredibly selfish. I only ever think about myself." "That's not true. And you know it yourself." It breaks my heart to see him like this. He doesn't seem to know what a great person he is. "I don't deserve you..." That's enough for me now. He shouldn't think like that! I move my chair closer to him and hug him. He immediately returns the hug and tears are now streaming down my cheeks too down. "I'm sorry..." he whispers repeatedly. "You don't have to be sorry about anything. Now stop thinking so badly of yourself, okay?" I bury my face in his shoulder and squeeze him even tighter, which he responds by giving me a hug Head strokes. We stay like that for a while until I pull away from him. "We should continue eating. Otherwise it will get cold." Chan nods, gets my plate and hands it to me. So I can stay sitting next to him.

The evening has already progressed well and we are still sitting next to each other and talking about trivial things. "I would be happy if the boys would come with me next time. It's hard not having them around all the time." "I'll tell them that. So expect them to be at the door first thing tomorrow." "There are worse things. By the way," I look up from my glass. "I'm flying back to my homeland next Monday for a week." "One week?" "Time will go by quickly. I feel like I need to see my family again. So much has happened, good and bad. I just need some time off." "I understand that too well. I haven't seen my family for a while and there are days when you're so homesick that it hurts." I nod because I feel the same way. Luckily he understands me and I don't have to worry about not being here for a week. "You'll be back, won't you?" "Of course I'll come back. After all, I have a job here." I laugh to lighten the situation a little, but Chan still seems worried. "You could find it there too..." "Chan, I'll definitely come back. I could never leave you like that. That would be heartless of me." I couldn't just leave him like that either. How am I supposed to be happy in Miami knowing he's here? But I won't tell him that. We don't want it to become any more complicated than it already is. "Would you do me a favor?" I quickly try to change the subject. "Sure, anything you want." Would he really do anything for me? "Could you look after my apartment while I'm away? You don't have to come here, but if anything happens it would be good to know that someone is looking after it." "Are you sure? Shouldn't Sumi do it? You get along so well too." "She lives further away than you do. It's just a question. You don't have to if you don't want to." "Yes, I'd love to. I just thought you might be more comfortable if Sumi did it." "As long as you stay away from my closet, I shouldn't care!" He starts laughing and to me it sounds like the most beautiful sound in the world. Oh god, my feelings for him are getting stronger and I just can't do anything about it. He doesn't make it any easier for me! I get up and get the spare key to my apartment. "Woe betide me when I come back and discover that you're having secret parties here. And keep Han and Changbin away from my Playstation!" "Will be done." He's still laughing and I can't help but grin. It should always be like this. Without self-doubt and at ease as before. "I should go home slowly too. Not that the others are worried. I'll see you at work." "Chan?" "Yes?" "Write to me when you get home." "I will do this under any circumstances." We hug goodbye and I close the door behind him.

~

Channie <3:
I'm home now. Thanks for the lovely evening.

Me:
I have to thank. The food was wonderful

Channie <3:
I hope we do this again soon
I missed you...

Me:
I missed you too Chan

Channie <3:
Goodnight Sarah♡

~

I fall asleep with a big grin and countless butterflies in my stomach.