The bright white lights of the hospital waiting room were burning into my eyes as I stared at the white tiled floor. I felt like I couldn't move. I could feel my hands shaking, and I could feel fear, but my body just wanted to shut down. The waiting was the worst part. Sitting here in a chair and waiting to hear news of how he is.
The smell of the hospital was sterile, like every hospital I've ever been to. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand any of it. A part of me wanted to run away, I couldn't bear being here and replaying that moment over and over again In my head. All I wanted was for my mind to go blank. For it to quiet just long enough so I could breathe.
A hand landed gently on my shoulder, but I didn't glance over. I knew it was Alex, she was the only other person in the waiting room with me.
"Hey, you should go wash up." She said gently, talking to me like I was a skittish animal.
I glanced down at my hands that were folded in my lap, wondering what she was talking about. My hands were red. They were coated in his blood. My heart jolted in my chest. The sight made me feel sick. I nodded wordlessly and stood up from the chair, making my way towards the bathroom.
I stepped up to one of the porcelain sinks and turned on the tap, letting the warm water run over my hands. I watched for a moment as a small amount of blood trickled down the drain before my mind snapped, it was like I came back to the present, and the panic really set in.
I covered my hands in soap and tried desperately to scrub at them, being far harsher than I should have. It didn't feel like it would come out, like I would be stained red forever.
The blood was slowly coming off, the red color becoming lighter and lighter every time I rewashed my hands. My skin hurt from the amount of soap and hot water I had used, but I didn't care. The ache was a welcome distraction from the pain and fear in my chest.
A brief image flashed in my mind, of ash washing down a bathroom sink in a similar looking hospital. The thought of Jo only spurred my panicked mind.
After washing my hands for twenty-something times, I finally noticed that the red pigment was gone. My hands were clean. It didn't feel as good as I hoped it would. I dried my hands with a paper towel, noting how sore my skin looked, before I exited the bathroom again.
I reentered the waiting room to see that JJ, Penelope and Cruz had arrived. How did they get here? We are in Texas. How long has it been since the incident? I then realized that I don't even remember how I got here, did we drive to the hospital after the ambulance? It's all a big blur up until this moment.
A pair of arms wrapping around my shoulders shook me out of my thoughts. Penelope pulled me into a tight hug, and after a moment, I returned the hug, gripping tightly to the back of her cardigan.
"Are you okay?" She asked gently
"No." I replied honestly, not even having the energy to lie
"He's going to be okay." She said as she gently soothed her hand down my hair.
She hugged me tightly for another moment before she let go, only to be replaced by JJ. The other blonde brought me into a tight hug, she didn't hold me as long as Penelope, but I didn't mind, I just wanted to sit back down again. I took a seat beside Alex, noting painfully that she had a bag of 'patients belongings'
"Y'all can see agent Morgan now." A nurse said to us
"Well, if you don't mind, I'd really like to stay here." Alex said
"Listen. The second you hear anything, call me." JJ said as she and Penelope stood up.
"Are you coming?" Penelope asked me. I looked up at her and wordlessly shook my head. She nodded in response.
YOU ARE READING
Golden | S.Reid
FanfictionSSA Natasha Solace has been apart of Interpol for as long as she can remember. When she received the offer to join the infamous BAU, how could she refuse? The prospect of working for the team, and getting to stay in one country was too good to pass...
