gold dust woman | daisy jones & the six

04

Cameron: It was 1974 now, Graham had just brought Billy back from rehab. While Billy was gone, we kept practicing.

Graham Dunne (guitarist, Daisy Jones & The Six): Back then, we didn't really understand addiction. We all thought things would just go back to normal now.

Cameron: Billy and I weren't on the best of terms when he left, but it was good to have him back.

He greeted me last.

"Hey, Cameron," He said, glancing around house.

"You good?" I asked, he nodded. I gave him a hug. I was truly proud of Billy, my dad went through the same thing when I was a kid. I didn't really understand addiction much then, none of us did. My dad was an addict, yes, but he always tried to keep that side of himself away from me.

Billy wanted to see Camila and his daughter. Camila was inside, her mom had been there too, and she was holding Julia.

"Do you want to hold her?" Camila asked.

"Uh, she seems fine already," Billy was scared to hold his own daughter. He didn't really know what to do, he had missed almost the entire first year of his daughter's life.

"I missed you," Billy said, finally sitting down by Camila.

Eddie: The tour was cancelled and the label dropped us.

Warren: We had to pay everything back.

Cameron: I kept practicing though, Graham and I wrote a lot of good guitar parts.

Warren: I was working down at Malibu Harbor, cleaning boats. Which, I loved. And doing a lot of mushrooms. Which, I also loved.

Graham: We were back to where we started, maybe even worse than before.

Cameron: I didn't really know what to expect next. I didn't want to give up, but that kinda seemed like it's where we were headed.

Warren and I were spending almost everyday together now, he was becoming one of my best friends. We would smoke a joint, get high, and listen to some records together.

Warren: Oh man, it was great. We might not have been rockstars anymore, but I was enjoying it. I was getting high with Cameron every night, sitting on her bed together. Most of those nights, the two of us would end up falling asleep in her bed. One of those mornings, I woke up with my arm wrapped around her waist, I got up before she could notice it, though.

Interviewer: Why didn't you tell her?

Warren: And be the asshole who ruined 'The Six'? I had no idea how Cameron felt, she was very hard to read.

Cameron: The first couple of nights that Billy was back from rehab, he stayed in Graham's room. Billy wouldn't even touch a guitar anymore, either. He just wasn't himself anymore.

Graham: He had lost himself.

"Wanna play?" I asked him.

"Maybe another time," Billy answered. He wouldn't even look at me.

"Alright, I get it. Whenever you're ready. We're all really excited." I was telling him in an attempt to encourage him.

"I can't do it," Billy said, his voice breaking.

"You can't do what?" I asked, even though I already knew what he meant.

"I'm out," Billy said. He didn't want to go back to his old habits, I understood that. But we had worked so hard for this band.

"I have to look after my family, Graham." Billy explained. I was heartbroken, we were all his family too. I was his family.

"Will you just tell them for me?" Billy asked me.

"You can tell them yourself," I shot back, leaving the room.

Cameron: The rest of us were sitting in the living room, it went quiet when Billy walked in. He told us that he was out of the band. Everyone was either confused, upset, or angry.

"You guys don't even need me. You've already got the songs and the fans," Billy said, trying to defend himself.

"Billy!" Eddie yelled, "if you're leaving, just go."

Billy walked out of the room. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't unheard of for a band to break up, it happened all the time. I just hadn't expected ours to end like this.

I was upset more than anything. We had spent years trying to get to this point, each of us sacrificed so much. We needed Billy, he was our lead singer. Of course I could sing too, but most of the stuff I did was just background, it just wasn't the same without Billy.

Karen: Bands fall apart, that's rock and roll. But I just thought this one was different.

Cameron: Billy was working on himself. He was finally becoming a father. It was nice to see.

The rest of us were at a party, looking for a replacement. None of those guys were going to be the right fit.

"Look if no one's going to say it, I will. We need Billy." I finally said.

"We've just got to keep looking," Karen replied.

We were sitting at the bar, I was quite a few drinks in. Warren was watching me like a hawk, making sure I didn't do anything too stupid. I do owe him a thank you for that.

"Are you guys still going to be called 'The Six'? I mean, there's five of you now." A man said, I'd never seen him before.

"Yeah, makes it even funnier." Warren answered.

"Look, if you don't get the joke, I can't help you." Eddie said.

We eventually left the party, Warren had his arm around my shoulders to keep me from falling. On the cab ride home, I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

Warren: I didn't move once.