Chapter 21- Something's Changed

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I do get released by Sunday, to my relief. I was going absolutely insane in that room. The plain white walls, the loneliness. Zeke and Shauna visited, of course. But they can't be there 24 hours a day. I push myself up slowly, testing my muscles. Only slightly weaker than usual, not all that sore. I push my arms to the sky, stretching. My stomach flips a bit, but quickly settles. I sigh. Suppose I will have to get up. I stand, ignoring the dizziness that sweeps over me. I just want to be out of here, get back to my training. Stage 3 is tomorrow. Tomorrow I will either become Dauntless, or factionless. So I have some planning to do.

I wander into the dining hall around lunchtime. The initiates have been withdrawn all day; all we want to do is plan as best as we can. It's almost like how it used to be in Erudite before a big test. Except this test decides the rest of our life. I pace up and down the hallways, arms crossed and nails bitten as far as they can go without bleeding. I shouldn't really be this nervous, but its how I am. I've been like this my entire life. Even if I know I'm going to do just fine, I worry. I worry almost to the point of making myself sick. Luckily, Divergence is invisible in Stage 3. Four explained it to us all this morning. He didn't directly say anything about Divergence, but he did say everyone can control the simulation. Meaning I am safe. At least, mostly. I have no doubt that someone up high knows I'm divergent. Whether that's my mother, or Eric, or maybe even both, I don't know. They don't seem all that intent on killing me, probably because of my lineage, but I can't say that for sure. Either way, I'm never going to be safe. Not entirely.

The hours drag on and on, and no one speaks. No one visits, no one eats, we just sit. Some wander back to the dorm early. I follow around 9pm. There are only 9 of us in the transfer dorm now. 2 dead, 2 factionless. At least no one is trying to kill each other at the moment. Still, there is an unbearable tension that steams from the competition. If you don't make the cut, and at least half of us won't, you're doomed to a life of disbanded labor and misery. At least, that's the impression we get from the factionless. Tyson is there. So is Jake. Right where they belong. But that isn't a place I want to be. Ever.

How will I defeat my fears? The four I have already seen won't be the worst of my problems. Unless they've changed. I suspect that at least one has. But what else will I face? I have no way of knowing. I'm already at a disadvantage; I've only seen 4 of my fears, the others have seen 5. Still, I have the advantage of being divergent. For physical things, a gun is my best friend. I'll have to trust my brain to come with answers to the others. My brain is currently refusing to fall asleep, as are many of the others in the room. Chase pretends to be asleep across from me, but his uneven breathing reveals that he isn't. Only a few are, and they sleep fitfully. I think Sam is the only one to be peacefully out. She's like a rock. Nothing really shakes her. Like Four. But they both suffer on the inside, almost definitely. I search the ceiling for patterns in the decorative lines that crisscross it. I can imagine almost anything if I try. This keeps me distracted until I slip into an unrestful sleep.

I wake up early with a sick stomach. This is another of my nervous traits- nausea. Fortunately, the rest of me feels ok. I glance at my pale-ish face in the mirror for a moment before I leave the dorm for what is probably the last time. This is me. Today I become Dauntless. I push my hair behind my ear, just as I did before the Choosing Ceremony. "Let's do this." I whisper, turning away. I pull on a black tank top and dark jeans, instead of a blue blouse and slacks. I apply black eyeliner, not blue. I look at the flame tattoo on my wrist. I have changed. Everything has changed. Regardless of the fear landscape, I have become Dauntless.

Zeke glances at me as I pour a little bit of cereal. I can't bring myself to eat much, but I have to get something in my stomach. I stare back at him, a slight smile on my face as I meet his glinting hazel eyes. He breaks into a grin, blinking and looking down. That smile is what makes him look best. Shauna waves us over from a table near the front of the hall and I have to look away from him, however reluctantly.

I twist my hands as we walk to the fear landscape room. It is all white, fairly large, with mirrors on one wall. They are one-way, so there is a room behind them that we will watch from. Four beckons us into the darkish room behind the mirrors, and stands before us, arms crossed as usual. He takes a breath, and jumps into it. "Today you will complete your Dauntless training by going through your fear landscape. Tonight, 10 of you will become Dauntless. The others become factionless. You chose us, we have to choose you. But, all of you will have faced your fears. And that is an accomplishment of its own." I breath normally, surprised by my own sudden calmness. Something settled, or clicked. I've accepted it, however stupid that might sound. But I'm ready for this. I am ready to be Dauntless.

Zeke is chosen to go first. He squeezes my hand before he enters the room. I'd like to think he was reassuring me, but I think he was calming himself. Which is almost more endearing anyways. We can't see his fears, only his reactions to them. Only the leaders can see everything on the computer in a separate room. I see him fire a gun with his eyes shut. I see him back away from something with his hands up defensively. Maybe he'll tell me someday. What he faces in there. His score is good; he gets through his 12 fears in an exceptional time. At the end, he blinks a few times, and a wide grin breaks over his face. He's done it. He's faced all of his fears. Now, it's my turn.

A/N: Wow guys I'm estimating 1-2 more chapters of this story! Then we move on to the sequel (which is also completely done, but not typed and edited.) PLEASE TELL ME IF I SHOULD COMBINE IT WITH THIS STORY OR CREATE A NEW ONE! I really want your input, because I can't decide. Let me know, slap dat vote button, and stay Dauntless:)

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