Pieces

Chapter 9

Bri reached over and wiped a stray tear away, "I'm sorry. There's me, prying again," she said.
I shook my head to brush her off and turned on my side away from her. I was ashamed of myself for letting anyone, especially Bri, see me so vulnerable.

I had done well, to build a wall and keep Rebecca in the furthest corners of my heart, but letting myself go back too far in my memories, tore it down and it felt like I was bleeding. I let Bri put her arms around me and pull me into her body. I fell asleep that night with the image of Rebecca in my rear view mirror as I drove away.

I woke before Bri and it was still dark out. I knew I couldn't face her, so I slipped out of bed, found my clothes and put them on as quietly as I could.

I snuck out of her bedroom and gathered my things, but when I was putting my shoes on, a light turned on behind me. I turned around and a woman, I could only guess as Bri's roommate was sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her.

"I'm guessing you're Elaine," the mysterious voice said.

"Erm, yeah and you are?" I asked.

"Stephanie, her roommate and best friend," she said.

"It's nice to meet you," I said as I walked over to shake her hand.

"She wasn't lying, you're gorgeous," she smirked.

"I, thanks, I guess?" I frowned.

"So, why are you sneaking off so early in the morning?" She asked.

"I just need to get home, I have a lot of things to do today. I have a few students coming in this morning and I have nothing prepared," I lied.

"You know, Bri had a rough time during her break up with Kyle. I was there for every minute of it and I'm not going to watch her go through that again. So, this is my best friend speech, if you hurt her, I will hurt you." She said with a serious look on her face.

"You're a good friend, but I don't need the speech, Bri and are just friends, I promise." I told her.

She snorted, "Friends don't make the sounds I heard coming from her room last night. The walls are thin, that's why I'm out here. Look, I don't care what you two do, I only care about Bri. She's been through a lot and I don't want to see her hurt again."

I finished lacing up my shoes and muttered, "Right, I understand," then turned to open the door.

"I feel like I've seen you before," Stephanie blurted out before I could step out.

I turned my head to the side and told her I didn't think so, then slipped out the door and hurried to my car.

I sat in my front seat for a moment and thought about Bri, Rebecca and everything Stephanie said to me. I couldn't help but feel like I let things go too far. It wasn't like me to fall into bed with someone twice and it definitely wasn't like me to open up, even a little bit, especially to someone I didn't really know.

I can't deny that I actually enjoy spending time with Bri and I love what she does to my body, but have I blurred the lines between friendship and something more? I don't want to hurt Bri and I don't want to hurt myself. I'm still in love with Rebecca and Bri deserves all of someone, not just the shell of a half healed person. The pain of losing Rebecca, is like an outline on my heart, it follows me every day and it hurts. There's no way I would be able to withstand another break. I couldn't risk it.

I put my car in reverse and drove away from her apartment. Stephanie's words stayed with me on the drive home and I knew I was doing the right thing.

I made it home and crawled into my bed. I could use a few more hours of sleep before my brain goes back into overdrive.

I woke with a clear head and a plan. I had to get a handle on myself and Bri just confused me. I would forget Bri, go to work, hang with my friends and put myself back in the Rebecca-less box I've been living in. That has been working for me.