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When There Was Me And You | Part 1

Poetry

You were my First Love; toxic, unhealthy for my state. But i learned Love from you; you taught me what it meant to spend nights crying at the edge of my bed and how it felt to really smile. ************************* This is a collection of poetry...

#boy #deep #dreams #experience #forever #happiness #happy #heartbreak #heartstrings #highschool #highschoolexperience #him #journal #life #love #memory #nostalgia #pain #past #poems #poetry #reminders #reminisce #sadness #words

08/07/2017

28 6 0 
                                    

                                              
08/07/2017
 I​ ​have​ ​a​ ​sinking​ ​feeling 
It's​ ​like​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​is​ ​getting​ ​heavy 
The​ ​things​ ​you're​ ​telling​ ​me; 
They're​ ​too​ ​goddamn​ ​heavy 
I​ ​want​ ​you​ ​to​ ​stop​ ​but​ ​i​ ​can't​ ​seem​ ​to​ ​stop 
My​ ​curiosity,​ ​my​ ​jealousy,​ ​my 
I​ ​don't​ ​even​ ​know​ ​what​ ​you​ ​call​ ​it,​ ​but​ ​i'm​ ​all​ ​focused​ ​now 
I​ ​can't​ ​stop​ ​listening​ ​to​ ​what​ ​you​ ​have​ ​to​ ​say​ ​about​ ​him 
About​ ​you.​
 ​I​ ​can't​ ​drag​ ​my​ ​attention​ ​away 
It's​ ​almost​ ​like​ ​this​ ​instant​ ​need-to-know-right-now​ ​thing 
And​ ​even​ ​though​ ​it​ ​doesn't​ ​seem​ ​much​ ​to​ ​you;​ ​you're​ ​in​ ​no​ ​hurry
You​ ​can​ ​tell​ ​me​ ​tomorrow​ ​or​ ​the​ ​day​ ​after
But​ ​it​ ​feels​ ​like​ ​this​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​be​ ​said​ ​now 
We​ ​need​ ​​ ​to​ ​be​ ​sure​ ​of​ ​​ ​what​ ​you're​ ​saying​ ​and​ ​clear 
The​ ​way​ ​you​ ​feel​ ​about​ ​him,​ ​about​ ​you​ ​both 
At​ ​this​ ​very​ ​moment. 
And​ ​although​ ​my​ ​eyes​ ​are​ ​getting​ ​all​ ​blurry 
And​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​is​ ​getting​ ​heavy 
You​ ​can​ ​tell​ ​me,​ ​i​ ​can​ ​still​ ​listen 
I​ ​can​ ​be​ ​the​ ​best​ ​friend​ ​that​ ​helps​ ​put​ ​your​ ​feelings​ ​in​ ​place 
When​ ​you're​ ​all​ ​confused​ ​and​ ​mixed​ ​emotions.
And​ ​although​ ​it​ ​hurts​ ​​ ​to​ ​think 
You​ ​like​ ​him​ ​now, 
I​ ​guess​ ​i​ ​understand 
Anyone​ ​can​ ​fall​ ​for​ ​him,​ ​he's​ ​just​ ​simply​ ​like​ ​that 
Though​ ​i​ ​have​ ​to​ ​say,​ ​i​ ​did​ ​find​ ​it​ ​heartbreaking 
You don't see in him what i did
But it still hurts
That​ ​it​ ​was​ ​you; 
The​ ​one​ ​i'd​ ​tell​ ​my​ ​stories​ ​about​ ​him​ ​too, 
The​ ​one​ ​who​ ​helped​ ​me​ ​stay​ ​strong 
When​ ​the​ ​world​ ​brought​ ​​ ​me​ ​down, 
The​ ​one​ ​who​ ​said​ ​he​ ​looked​ ​sad​ ​when​ ​we 
Moved​ ​away​ ​from​ ​each​ ​other, 
The​ ​one​ ​who​ ​told​ ​me​ ​she​ ​was​ ​crushing​ ​on​ ​the​ ​boy 
I​ ​was​ ​in​ ​love​ ​with; 
But​ ​before​ ​i​ ​get​ ​carried​ ​away 
This​ ​isn't​ ​about​ ​me,​ ​it's​ ​about​ ​him,
​you​ ​and​ ​him. 

So​ ​how​ ​are​ ​things​ ​going? 
I​ ​think​ ​it's​ ​been​ ​about​ ​two​ ​weeks 
Since​ ​i​ ​started​ ​this​ ​poem,​ ​i​ ​had​ ​it​ ​put​ ​away 
Behind​ ​my​ ​books​ ​and​ ​papers 
I​ ​was​ ​probably​ ​never​ ​going​ ​to​ ​get​ ​back​ ​to​ ​this​ ​again 
It​ ​doesn't​ ​make​ ​me​ ​feel​ ​good 
But​ ​here​ ​i​ ​am,​ ​back at this i'm​ ​writing​ ​and​ ​i'm​ ​okay. 
Does​ ​he​ ​look​ ​at​ ​you​ ​like​ ​you're​ ​everything, 
He's​ ​ever​ ​prayed​ ​for? 
When​ ​you​ ​turn​ ​and​ ​look​ ​back​ ​at​ ​him, 
Do​ ​you​ ​see​ ​your​ ​whole​ ​world? 
I​ ​miss​ ​seeing​ ​that​ ​from​ ​him 
It's​ ​the​ ​best​ ​feeling​ ​isn't​ ​it? T
he​ ​one​ ​where​ ​you​ ​see​ ​him​ ​looking​ ​right​ ​into​ ​your​ ​eyes 
As​ ​though​ ​he​ ​couldn't​ ​tear​ ​his​ ​eyes​ ​off​ ​of​ ​you 
It​ ​makes​ ​so​ ​much​ ​happen​ ​to​ ​you: 
frantic​ ​heartbeat,​ ​blank​ ​mind,​ ​butterflies,​ ​difficulty​ ​breathing 
But​ ​i'm​ ​not​ ​complaining​ ​it's​ ​a​ ​pretty​ ​amazing​ ​feeling 
Like​ ​you​ ​both​ ​belong​ ​to​ ​each​ ​other... 

Has​ ​he​ ​moved​ ​on?​ ​
Isn't​ ​he​ ​in​ ​love​ ​anymore? I'm​ ​going​ ​to​ ​stop​ ​writing​ ​now 
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